In The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Ben Stiller’s character races across the globe in search for an adventurer, played by Sean Penn. The ensuing travels take Walter on a psychological rush. Suddenly, his life is full of excitement and uncertainty. But before he jumps — takes that chance — Walter is stuck at the office. He’s afraid to leave. His life is a boring repetition of the same cycle of work.
Recently, I’ve noticed a similar dissension within me. While I enjoy my work immensely and have deep passion for helping others, this delayed gratification of graduate school prevents me from engaging in a fundamental, eye-opening experience: international travel.
Seeing another culture has been shown to aid in the development of empathy. Intuitively, that finding makes sense, as we often live blindly to those in difficult life circumstances. Immersive cultural experiences such as travel and reading help people become rounded.
Sign me up for the discomfort of having to negotiate a car rental without speaking the language. I’ll find a way. Sign me up to confront class differences between cultures and peoples. I’ll question my assumptions. Sign me up to try the exotic foods and push my boundaries. I’ll open my stomach and heart.
With these values and ideas in mind, I’ve been fantasizing like Walter Mitty. Days go by in work and writing, but I secretly imagine a getaway — daydreaming my way to Denmark, Egypt, France, Israel, and Russia. Sometimes I picture dropping everything and running; after all, we only have these moments. Each time I dream big, I slowly regain composure and repeat simple mantras: “must save, later will travel” or “must work, employer needs me” or “once I get my PhD, then I’ll travel.”
But moments of lust for flight keep hitting. Nowadays, the fantasy occurs every time I’m in an airport. If the flight is delayed, cancelled, or I’m flying standby, I look at Kayak.com for the cheapest flights to… anywhere. From hundreds to thousands of dollars, I wonder if I could just go — without fear or restriction.
One of my greatest regrets has been my failure to develop fluency in a second language. Travel could’ve aided in language acquisition. As a frugal person, I can’t quite afford it yet. I’m stuck on saving a little egg that can protect me and someday empower me to travel. I find that terribly frustrating.
My guess is many people are like me. We’re busy working away during the week and the money is helping us get by. If you’re more frugal, you can sock away a little more, too. We’re hardly rolling in the dough, though.
If we could cheaply travel, we would. And yes, there are ways to travel more affordably. You can get a credit card with a signup bonus, buy tickets well in advance, look for student/senior discounts when possible, stay at hostels, and travel light. But at the end of the day, travel requires time off work and savings. It necessitates a certain safety net, unless you’re willing to risk homelessness because of the desire to travel. And there are classes and cultures right here at home that cannot and will not travel — ever — despite whatever desire they have internally.
When my head and heart race, I slow down by remembering my consistent goals. I want to be able to provide for others, give healthily to charity, avoid nasty loans, save for retirement, and be prepared for an emergency. Travel will come, and as much as the daily drools of quotidian life will never appeal to me, I do recognize what I’m building here. Frugality is a philosophical aspiration where I realize that life can be grand with less. Eventually, I’ll buy the ticket and take the ride.
Great photo!!
Haha. Thanks for shot. 😉
Yes yes yes! This is my daily thinking and then I remind myself that I’m doing this so that we can eventually get that ticket and take that ride. That’s the WHY.
Exactly Maggie! Glad to have you on board. Thanks for commenting.
Travel does take time and money, but I think it is so worth it! And there are so many ways you can save – going to less expensive regions, renting out your own home while travelling, cooking while travelling, etc.
I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with dreaming or thinking about the future, as long as the focus isn’t constantly on that. You have to make sure that you also enjoy your time in the present. I do agree that it’s important to stay moving towards your overall goals though!
It’s always so tough to decide to live for today or live for tomorrow. I think many of us question whether we should take our savings and travel or put them toward something that provides more immediate satisfaction. I think it’s key to have balance and to focus on where you want to be in 10, 20, 30 years. Will today’s spending prevent you from hitting your long-term goals? If so, then it’s probably wise to find a compromise.
I get this desire too. I think eventually it just comes down to the numbers. If you figure out how you’re willing to travel (coach, first class) and where you are willing to stay (top end hotel, air b&b, friends and family), you can calculate how much it will cost and save accordingly. If it will cost around $2,000 per person for a week abroad, save every month for it and BAM! You got enough for your trip in a year or so. Turbo charge that with a credit card signup bonus here and there and you could probably travel abroad at least once every other year.
If I could add one bit of advice, do it before you have kids! Everything really does change when you have a kid, and gets more expensive accordingly.
Ha! I always used to have those thoughts when I was in school! I would fantasize about just driving on down the road to see the world. It was an intense feeling sometimes and I wonder if it has to do with the heavy grind of work, study, plan, save. That’s all tough stuff that can make anyone ansty now and again.
I have a separate savings account for travel and put money in it bi-weekly. I travel overseas once a year with what I’ve saved. However, when I want to get a bit of a rush and not have to spend much money, I purchase a Megabus ticket. I scored a $30 return bus ticket (Toronto-NYC) for the fall. I will sleep on the bus, spend 16 hours exploring NYC and get back on the bus late in the evening to sleep and head back home. I found cool free walking tours and other free things to do there. My budget is $100 including transportation. I will be doing this on a weekend and not taking any days off of work. Although I’d prefer to fly overseas, this gives me the travel rush I need until I can afford another ticket to Europe. 🙂
I have mixed feelings about postponing travel. If you really want to live overseas, why not use your PhD program to find an exchange for a semester? Choose somewhere you’ve always wanted to go and do it. The reality is, you are freer now than you will be in the future — you don’t have a spouse or children or a full-time job or clients/patients or your own practice! In many ways, this is the best time of your life to travel.
On the other hand, I understand you want to save money for the future.
But, life is short. My colleagues and peers (we’re in our 50s and 60s) wish they’d traveled earlier in life. Between children/aging parents/house commitments and emerging health issues, there are lots of reasons why my colleagues are not able to travel as much as they wish.
As for me, I was lucky to live overseas as a young adult for almost a decade and wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything! They shaped my worldview at a time when it was very important to expand my thinking.
Finally, and I hope this does not sound trite, the saying about not postponing joy seems to apply here.
Perhaps you can find ways to escape that are nearby? It may not be as exotic as jumping on a plane to India or Madagascar, but (depending on where you are in graduate school), there are probably places nearby — or a short car ride/road trip away — that can immerse you in a different culture?
I know working on a PhD can be a long process and that (especially if you’re trying to do it without student loans) can be a time with very limited funds — I did it myself. But I think if you think outside the box, you can still get those immersive experiences. There are certainly people who are very poor somewhere nearby that you could visit and help (maybe volunteer at your local homeless shelter?). And, if nothing else, see if your department will sport the bill for sending you to an international conference. When I was a student, my department at UCLA didn’t have the funds for that, but perhaps yours will? Just a few thoughts.
I enjoyed hearing about your dreaming.
One of the biggest regrets people express as they age is not traveling more when they were younger. So many things get in the way the older we get.
I watched my dad die at 52 after putting all his travel plans off for later. Then I dealt with a serious, random health issue at 31 that lasted years. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or if it will even come for us.
It’s hard trying to strike a balance of living for today while saving for tomorrow. Especially on my social worker’s salary. Now that I have a good emergency savings fund I make sure to travel every year. About 1/6 of what I save I put towards travel. I know it means I’ll need to work a little longer, but I enjoy today more while I do. That’s important to me.
Great post! I agree there’s often a disparity between where we are now and where we want to be but were we are now is helping us to get to where we want to be. It’s a tough choice whether to go after what we want sooner or later. I live frugally too and find it hard to save for the things I want, our capitalist society does make it that much harder.
Loved the movie, connected deeply with the message. My wife Erin and I have big travel goals and have been very lucky to have had the opportunity to explore much of our own country over the last few years. International travel is now becoming a priority for us. This year we traveled to Brazil and New York City, and we’re currently daydreaming (a la Walter Mitty) about travel in Europe. Some people see travel as a expense. But if you do it right, its an investment into a better you. If you’re doing it right, you never return home the same. Your worldview should be broader, your imagination and creativity should be closer to the surface, your heart should be a bit fuller and your soul lighter.