Hope you enjoy this little tour of my old apartment!
(Warning: sarcasm ahead.)
Over the last 7 days I’ve been moving boxes, furniture, and settling into a new abode. I have a terrific roommate and some good friends with me — all in the same complex. We’re one big, amalgamated family. It feels wonderful to be around and supported and having fun with such great people.
But there’s a foreignness to my new residence. Every time I walk into the brand new apartment (for me and the area), it feels opulent and grand. It’s like I’m a little ant, looking up at the big blue sky — captivated and scared by the scale.
My home has wood floors and a stone-tiled bathroom, which reminds me of a hotel room. There’s fresh, soft carpet in the bedroom to greet me in the mornings. Central air and heating insulates me from the inevitable weather extremes of Iowa. A community center features a fitness room, laundry facilities, and regular staff.
As my friends know (and certainly some of my readers), I’m quite class conscious. When I see inequality and/or inequity, I can’t help but comment and try to change it. This new apartment, full of accoutrements and amenities is a reminder of my privilege. And with that, I feel deeply mixed.
The previous couple years were spent in a batcave-like apartment, which was comically awful. I lived 20 feet from an active railroad, 40 feet from a lurking cell tower, and my views were of a crater-filled parking lot. Despite its misgivings, I felt at home; at times, proud of it. I just never wanted to be above it all — separated too greatly from how many live.
Physical separation from more humble surroundings scares me. I worry that if I move to far from poverty, lower incomes, and more modest livelihoods, I could get swept up in craving endlessly. Perhaps more importantly, that this distance may come at the cost of being able to empathize with those who struggle economically — that I wouldn’t be as inclined to give back.
And now, I feel like I’m in a gated community. The demographics have shifted, as families departed as they couldn’t afford the new residences. The multiculturalism that once filled my old neighborhood has significantly changed. It’s evidenced in the growing number of white people and shiny cars.
I’ve joined the economically privileged, and I’m still wrapping my mind around the shift. I feel both honored to have this place, and unsettled by the way privilege begets privilege — a burdensome path and procession of more, greater, bigger, and taller. It feels paradoxical, as there’s great happiness here for my friends and I, and yet the discrepancy between the haves and the have nots has never been greater.
What prompted the change??
They were tearing down the old apartments. I had to move. :/ Wouldn’t have otherwise!
Interesting perspective on class-consciousness here. But congratulations to you; it sounds like you’ve achieved financial freedom!
(For more about financial freedom, see my latest article here: http://froogalstoodent.blogspot.com/2014/08/financial-freedom.html)
It’s up to you to determine how much emphasis you intend to place on your new surroundings. Yes, be grateful to be living in the beautiful, new apartment, but you don’t seem to be the type that doesn’t appreciate how fortunate you are. A very well written post.
Remember your roots. It easy to get spoiled and then forget. Been there, now I’m going back, not out of choice, but necessity. I’m liking what I find though.
Continued self awareness is important. I think you have that and it shows with this post. W
Wow! Fabulous place to live…..not! Be glad you’re getting into something better. You’ll end up saving money on heating and cooling costs, utilities, probably schlepping your laundry around less….all things that contribute to a life that is actually more cost efficient than the one you were living here. Your video cracked me up. My kids watched it with me, and we talked about how everybody’s got that “This is where I started out!” kind of story. Now, I want you to post a part two follow-up story on your new place in a few months and talk about all the ways that moving has actually saved you money and improved your quality of life. Loved this! 🙂
Sue,
Honored that you shared this with your kids! I just decided on a whim to ask a friend to film me. That’s what I came up with! Really happy to hear you all loved this. Thanks for the incredible encouragement and positivity!
Sam
I can identify with that feeling. Our first apt was in a dank basement and, while we had almost no natural light, we made it work and had great times (and parties) there. Now that we own a house (something we talked about like a unicorn that spouts champagne when we lived in our basement), we see the gentrification in our urban neighborhood and it gives us pause. I think you’re completely right about this–enjoy your increased standard of living, but don’t loose sight of those who live in vastly less safe/comfortable surrounding.
I hope we get to see the new place too. I can totally identify with your feelings on the whole thing. It’s hard to balance the wish for nicer living conditions and the fear of losing touch with where you came from and where others still are. It’s human nature to want to strive to be better and to have better. Perhaps as we move up, we just need to remember to look back and put out a hand to help the next guy on his way up too..