Her office was scattered with boxes, papers, and knickknacks. I’d never seen it this way. Here she was, packing up everything after a three to four-decade career. As she gingerly removed the last remaining photographs from the corkboard, I could see sun-soaked squares – leaving an outline of the past.
With a gigantic smartphone in hand, she pulled me aside to take a selfie. I laughed – not used to this cordiality. I felt the baton passing. Here was this transitional moment between generations. And with a sweet tenderness in her voice, she said goodbye.
Nearly her whole life was spent working in one place. The “best” years of her life were given to the cause of higher education. It had been a sacrifice. She fought with administrators and faculty, but always was an advocate for students. Now, she was leaving.
I knew I’d miss her presence in the halls. Her passion fundamentally pushed me to be a better writer and academic. And frankly, it seemed like she was struggling to say goodbye to all the colleagues, staff members, students, and friends.
All I could think was, “I’d like to have this moment.” I’d love to be at the end of a long career and struggling to leave. I’d love to leave fulfilled.
As a fourth-year doctoral student, I’m not in my career, but I’ve sort of started it. It’s strange. I’m not an undergraduate, but I’m also not a faculty member. I don’t pay tuition (any more), but I’m also not making much. And in this quasi-career state, I can’t help but wonder what motivates someone to put 30 to 40 years into a career – to stay at one employer.
At 26 (almost 27), I wonder how to find flow – that love in a career and life. The recipe is different for everyone, but I think I know what I need. A life with my girlfriend, maintaining friendships, being challenged intellectually at work, getting paid a wage that allows me to live in comfort (everyone’s different, I just want a roof, a few books, and Internet access), and having opportunities to collaborate all come to mind. Likely, I’ll discover more over time.
Becoming more frugal and minimal, I’ve realized how little I need beyond social connection and work satisfaction. I’m not picturing Ferraris and McMansions. Instead, I envision small homes and public transit. I don’t see $300 bottles of red wine at lavish steak restaurants. I think about healthy, tasty meals with those I care about. And these dreams influence what I’ll need and where I’ll want to be.
I want a job where I work hard, but never look at the clock. I want a job where my start time isn’t used as a character judgement, but rather my productivity. I want a job where I can make a difference in people’s lives, but still maintain my own.
I’m nearing the end of graduate school and full of questions. I want to ask people what attracted them to their employer. What made them stay? How did salaries influence their decision to stay at one employer? What made someone struggle to leave after decades of employment?
There’s a secret in those years of service. What’s yours?
Gwen says
Most of my coworkers on my current team have been working here longer than I’ve been alive. I can’t imagine doing the same thing for 30 years- I’d go mad!
FrugalCat says
Yes, but doing the same thing every day (I’ve been with my current employer for 17 years and I am 44) gives you the structure and the freedom to do what you want when you are not working.
Jessica - Living with Intention says
I am in the exact same position of you – finishing my doctorate and in search of a position that provides me with the means to pay the bills, is intellectually stimulating and enjoyable, yet allows for balance in my life.
Slackerjo says
After years and years of useless/lunatic bosses, gruelling workload, and stress that was so bad that I have scars on my back from the hives, I have a great job. Zero stress, friendly people and as a bonus, I get to listen to audio books at work when I am out of the public eye.
I work as a cleaner in a government building. Yes it’s the same thing (more or less) every day but I have a routine and a schedule and the days fly by. I’ve never had to take a mental health day because I just couldn’t drag my ass to work. My family hates that I do this kind of work (below my middle class upbringing and education) and my friends think I’ve lost my mind because “you can do so much more.” I don’t see it that way. I am lucky that I am well paid, with a set schedule and as long as I meet a few time deadlines, my boss does not care how I approach my work. He just cares that the work is done at the end of the day. AND my job keeps me fit which is another bonus.
I’m asked all the time if I find my job boring. Not really, because this job gives me the flexibility to do my other job, which is writing books and selling them on Amazon. The zero stress job allows the opportunity to challenge myself with the task of crafting a story and I enjoy the thrill when I make a sale. That’s my secret.
Miranda says
Great for you! As a society we don’t value happiness and freedom from stress. So many people claim that’s what they want, but then criticize others when they achieve it. Personally I think a lot of people feel threatened when they see someone else doing what they wish they could do, because if you could do it, then so could they. It’s easier to make excuses or blame others.
You may not be living up to your “potential” through your job, but your are as a human being.
healthwrtr says
I’ve been with the same employer for more than 30 years. Sometimes she’s a bit critical, but I have always had the freedom to come and go as I please, as long as I get the work done. Like you, I’ve wanted the important things: good friends, solid relationship, roof over my head, and internet…and my four-legged critters. As a freelance health writer, I’ve not raked in the big bucks, but my career choice has allowed me to do what I want, when I want, to turn work down, and to engage in various volunteer opportunities for causes I believe in.
Amber says
Funny this article came up today, as yesterday I turned down a promotion because I’m finally happy where I’m at. I love what I do and I love the interaction I am able to have with those just beginning their careers. It’s not always about making more money or climbing the ladder to the top. I’m happy. And sometimes in life (if not the majority), that kind of satisfaction should be enough.
Tyler says
I have worked for the same employer for nearly 10 years (not as long as some but longer than a lot). And unfortunately I look for a way out almost every single day. I’m in the same boat as you trying to find out what would cause someone to “want” to work for the same place for decades.
Mollie says
I finished grad school 8 years ago, and I still have a lot of the same questions. I’ve had work I loved with an awful employer, and I’ve stuck with work I didn’t like because I was making enough money to pay down student loans. It’s easy to admire those who had a straight path and stuck to it, but it doesn’t always work that way for everyone. Still looking for a lot of the same things you are. Good luck!
Mary says
this is one of the BEST things you have ever written to me 🙂 thank you!
Miranda says
“I want a job where I work hard, but never look at the clock. I want a job where my start time isn’t used as a character judgement, but rather my productivity. I want a job where I can make a difference in people’s lives, but still maintain my own.”
This describes me and my job. I’m a social worker. As a profession we make below average for the amount of education required, like counseling. Still, I accepted a job with even lower pay than average for a social worker because it fit what you wrote. I see every day the difference I make, and have huge flexibility, which to me is more important than salary. Then 25 months later I was offered a chance to do basically my (current) dream job at my same agency with the same flexibility, and 45% increase in salary. Had I pursued a higher paying job when I graduated I world have missed this opportunity and would still be making less than my new salary.
My point in all this? Working in the helping fields is challenging. Keep your eye on a job that fits what you wrote, without focusing on pay. Thankfully your needs are low, like mine, so you can hold out for higher pay. Having ballance in your life while making a difference and being happy is worth it’s weight in gold. That’s what keeps people from getting burned out.
Dane Hinson says
I couldn’t agree more with what I’m looking for in a job. I want a job where I’m exhausted everyday from the hard work I put in and how productive I am. Not because I spent XX amount of hours in the office.
TomTrottier says
As the comments attest, what you want is what YOU want. We each have our goals and our methods. But if yur job does not fit, or you suffer more than you gain, you should find a way to get a change of scenery.