I want to spend this week talking about relationships. Why? Well, because money and relationships often go hand in hand, whether we like it or not. Income, wealth, and spending issues are one of the most common concerns for partners.
When I founded Frugaling, I was in a relationship and felt this pressure — internal and external — to change my habits and reduce my spending. What happened next still feels like a dream. In thinking about that process of becoming more financially solvent, I decided to write a little article for one of my favorite personal finance websites, Frugalwoods.com.
Today, you’ll find my thoughts on being single, staying frugal, and thinking about whether a relationship is right for me… financially. Then, on Wednesday, the author of that site will be publishing her own article here on Frugaling! She’ll share her thoughts on love, relationships, and the ability to be even more frugal when married.
The two of us come from different backgrounds, genders, demographics, and are in opposite sides of the relationship coin. Despite these differences, we both came to frugal living. I can’t wait to hear from you all about your journey and how relationships help/hinder your ability to save!
I’d say I’ve probably rubbed off a little more on my boyfriend than he has on me when it comes to money habits. I’m the frugal saver, he’s the spender- but he’s coming around 🙂
I just read your post on Frugalwoods, and I could not agree with you more on your three points. Good for you, Sam! Be yourself and if it’s meant to be, you WILL find your RIGHT partner!
Thanks Mikel! That means so much to me. I really appreciate you visiting both pages and commenting. All the best, Sam.
Being single is rough, and dating is even worse. As someone with a keen eye on expenses, every time a date suggests going out I die a little inside. I always, always, ALWAYS offer to pay. Sometimes he lets me, most times he doesn’t, even though I generally earn more than him. I have to sneak the bill to pay it. One of my ex’s couldn’t handle letting me pay and it ultimately was one of the dividing factors in the relationship. Society has come so far, but yet in some areas we’ve a long way to go. Now I take the initiative and suggest cheaper things to do, like a walk on the river front, a nice bike ride or frisbee golf at the park. If he complains, I know we’re not meant to be! I’m hoping with my upcoming move I can find a better date pool!
Hey Sam. Just a quick note to say that I enjoyed your post and left a comment over there!
Take care and all the best.
Lyle
It is always good to taken in new perspectives, especially when you are in a relationship. Most of the time, not everyone is both a saver or both spenders. The difficult part is finding a balance between you and your partner for what works for both of you.
So great you’re tackling this topic! For us, it’s been a huge evolution. When we got together 10 years ago, we were financially different people from who we are now. Debt, way higher spending, earning much less, etc. We’ve definitely found that it’s entirely possible to grow and change together, and we’re thankful that that’s true, because that’s letting us get closer and closer to our ER goal! Off to check out your post on Frugalwoods…
Thanks for supporting both our sites and commenting! Means so much to have your feedback. I really appreciate you sharing about coming from different paths and converging. Hope you enjoyed the article.
Sam
As a frugal person with an interest in early retirement, I have yet to find a partner who shares my financial values, and I don’t really expect to. I honestly have higher priorities in partner selection than this one (especially since I am not interested in marriage). I suggest low-cost activities and eating options even if the other person wants to pay for them. I don’t tie myself financially to others so that their decisions don’t impact my goals as much. But there is always some influence. Sometimes it’s good to have a moderating influence on my frugaling, and I know I have a moderating influence on their spending.