I started cutting my hair in the second year of college. Nascent tingles of frugality seemed to start that year, and I was looking for a way to save time and money. Buzzing my own hair solved both, as I probably saved $10-15 every time.
Going on my 7th year (and hundreds in savings), I can’t help but notice how many phases I’ve gone through. My hair’s been slicked back, spiked up, buzzed off, and everything in between. I’ve experimented and built up some skills over the years. Each style gives me a different drive.
Ostensibly, based on every kind word I’ve ever received, I look good when my hair is in between that spiky and slicked-back phase. It kind of has a natural tousle. I feel more confident “wearing” that haircut, too. If anything, this is the look I like when I’m dating.
But today, with buzzers in hand, I debate — once again — whether I should buzz it all off. It’s like hitting the reset button on my head — physically and emotionally. Instantaneously, I look like a Marine reporting for basic training. I don’t know that the style suits anyone, but it’s simple to maintain. Rinse off and you’re ready to go.
Each time I cut my hair, I’m forced in front of a mirror for long periods. I scan over every area of my scalp, and trim the sides by hand. It takes careful precision and patience. What starts out as necessary often becomes obsessive.
I start to see how I’ve changed and aged over the years. I didn’t look like this 7 years ago. I didn’t have fraying sides or a mysterious patch in the back when I first started. My hair was darker, too.
Stand in front of a mirror for any length of time, and my eyes begin to pour over every fault. The extraterrestrial divots of bad acne, the crease of a scar from childhood, and discoloration speck sit atop my face. History via epidermis.
I can’t help but notice, and wonder how to “fix” myself. My consciousness asks, “How can I improve this person in front of me?” Briefly, nearly every time, I think about who I want to be and how this physical presentation has aged in strange, foreign ways. Frankly, resisting it is what I’d like to do.
When I think about why I ask these questions and try to improve my physical features, I come back to the same conclusion: I want to be attractive. I want people to like me. I want to be able to date freely, and not have some strange physical feature that makes me stand out too much — that makes me “odd.”
As I probe my mind for why I think this way, I can’t help but reflect on a culture that encourages us to age slower, and if worst comes to worst, reverse it. We value youth and agelessness. Even more, we seem to be quick to ostracize those who are… different.
It’s in the resistance to aging that things seem to go awry. Suddenly, we spend countless dollars on creams, ointments, and cleansers to freshen our bodies. The average markup on cosmetics is about 78 percent. We’re desperate for something that once was us.
I hate to admit this, but I’ve already purchased many of said products before. There was a tanning cream when I was younger, with the hope of making me less pale and gaunt. All it did was make me look more like an oompa loompa. There were tens of creams and remedies and medicines for acne. They just made my skin red like a Skittles package. I went through expensive scar reduction bottles. And then those whitening strips that bleached my teeth to unnaturally white levels.
It went beyond youthfulness, as I wanted to be good enough — to be worthy of attention. The only way I knew how to make that happen was by spending money. There was one colossal problem: this was money I didn’t have, as I was using student, car, and credit loans to finance these adventures in attractiveness. My debt grew with this desire for outer worth.
$10, $20, $30, $40, and $50 at a time, the money drained out of my pockets and into the coffers of beauty and “hygiene” companies. I can’t imagine how much I spent on these products in total, and part of me is thankful to be without an amount. Just imagining how that money could help me and others causes my gut to wrench.
Most of us can logically say that change is inevitable, and resistance is futile. But that’s the tough part, beauty, attraction, and youthfulness are powerful, emotional drives. They push psychological buttons that aren’t rational. Before we know it, we can virtually or physically pull out our wallets and let corporations take us for all we’re worth. Stopping time is expensive, isn’t it?
I slap on a 2 clip and flip the switch. The gentle vibrations hum up my arm, and the sound of a little lawnmower ignites. Momentarily, I hold the buzzer up and wonder if I should do it. Do I really want it to be so short, simple, and plain?
It’s not till the first clump falls off my head and into the sink that I realize what motivates me to do this. I’m saying no to the system that says beauty looks one way. I’m saying no to products that would wash, condition, and spike my hair. I’m saying goodbye to resistance. I’m saying hello to fault, age, and the very probable/highly likely/I-don’t-know-how-it-won’t-happen chance that this hair won’t always be here.
It’s practice for the big day.
I think I’ve actually become more low maintenance over the years. When I was a teen, I’d spend money on stupid crap (like tanning stuff), now I barely wear make up. As I start rounding thirty though, I wonder if that will change.
This is a really tough battle for me… I’m not interested in looking decades younger in the future. But I do want to make sure that I take care of my skin such that it doesn’t age me any more than the real number may be. A big part of that though is starting before it becomes noticeable. So now that I’m in my 30s, should I start using anti-aging creams? How much am I willing to invest in it?
This is a big struggle for me. It was a lot easier to not care at 30, but at 42, I’m definitely showing signs of aging. The highlights I put in my hair for my wedding have somehow become a full dye job to cover the gray. I tried a friend’s anti-aging skin care products and then I wanted them for myself. Next week I’m going to try going without makeup all week and document the results on my blog. I feel a lot of internal resistance to the expectations that women should wear makeup, yet I wear makeup every day because I don’t want to field everyone’s comments about how I look tired. If I could give the world one piece of advice right now, I think it might be to stop telling other people they look tired, lol.
Anne,
That sounds like a wonderful, challenging endeavor. Love the idea, and so wish that you’ll keep me posted about the results. As a man, I would love to better understand that perspective and experience.
Looking forward to hearing more about it,
Sam
@ Mrs Maroon – I believe those creams to be a gimmick draining your wallet. Genetics play a lot in ageing, but as you’ve probably done your research you’ve found that protecting your skin from the sun’s damage starts early, wearing a hat outdoors, covering up your arms, neck and chest and not just with sunblock lotion. Eating healthy – fresh foods, drink lots of water and of course don’t be a smoker. Just living your life is revealed as a map your face. As a woman now 60, my concern is in not developing skin cancer and to take care of my health. The life lines on my face I will accept. Oh, and as you have probably witnessed first hand when you look in a mirror, a smile can drop away years off your face and doesn’t cost anything. Joyce Carol Oates is quoted as saying ” I used to think getting old was about vanity, but actually it’s about losing people you love. Wrinkles are trivial. ” Daily count your blessings and share your smile.
If you largely think and focus on the here and now, ageing doesn’t really become an issue. In terms of haircuts, I’ve buzzed for a while myself but as my buzzer packed in I thought I would become even more frugal and just grow it out and get back to my hippy roots at 45. Also helps keep my ears warm in Scotland during the colder months 🙂
Dave,
Haha! You went an entirely different direction. Love it. 🙂
You’re absolutely right, you could just as easily grow out for a low maintenance look. For me, it helps keep me modest and recognize loss as a natural, inevitable part of life. Funny that hair is so powerful for me!
Thanks so much for your comment,
Sam
For sure, I am definitely becoming a lot more low maintenance-like, thanks in large part to this site and others. I recognise loss too, as in the loss of brown replaced by grey in more and more areas but am totally happy with my inevitable journey towards Silver Foxdom.
Great post and it goes to show that as we get wiser simplicity is the best route to take. I tend to think yeah I’m getting older but better as I age, more knowledge and more skills. (Don’t forget more money) I must say your braver than me, I have to pay for my haircuts, I can’t do it myself.
Rich Uncle!
Thanks for your comment. Haha. Well, the haircuts started out pretty simple: just buzz the whole thing off. Eventually, I began to try new styles and grow it out a bit more. It’s never perfect, but that’s okay.
I think you could do it! 🙂
Sam
I love this post, Sam! Well done. I want to say, from the dating point of view, if you are looking for a real partnership then the lady needs to be on-board with a ‘this is me’ point of view. Think of being 100% yourself as saving time. You are automatically weeding out all of the chics that will be too high maintenance to be compatible with your long-term goals and lifestyle. Take it from someone WAY older than you, it pays to be real up front – prevents hurt feelings about the old bait and switch down the line.
I’ve been cutting my own hair for more than 15 years. I do it with scissors or clippers and 2 mirrors. It all started with doing my own bowl cuts in high school (early nineties). Later on my motivation was more that I was never happy going to a barber, or paying more at a salon. They never did it right. So I did it myself, and I’ve never screwed it up. Can always go back to the buzz.
The last time I cut it, it did feel like a reset button. I joined a gym for the first time in a few years to get back into shape. More comfortable to work out when it’s short.
-RBD
Bowl cuts… I’m glad I grew out of that style! Haha.
You’ve got it, though, the haircut can inspire change inside and outside. A great lesson!
Thanks for your comment,
Sam
I’m only 23, but I feel pressured to wear makeup everyday to work because all my female co-workers do and when they don’t they are often asked if they are sick or “you look tired today” comments. I’ve gotten comments like that too from friends and family members. No, I’m not sick or tired I just don’t have any makeup on today!
Hey Kayla…I’m a bloke obviously so it’s hard for me to really understand the whole ‘make up’ thing….but you should never be or feel pressured my anyone else’s comments, actions etc. Be natural, be yourself, be beautiful, comfortable in your own skin and don’t worry about others comments. Just brush it off..end of the day it’s often them mirroring their own insecurities on yourself…be stronger than them…beauty comes from within not trying to mirror some air-brushed idea from magazines, advertising of what they perceive beauty ‘should’ be 🙂
Awesome post. It is so refreshing to hear a man’s perspective on this. As a woman, I struggle with the same issues (many women would say it is much more extreme for us). But somehow when this issue is raised by a man, it really resonates in a much stronger way.
Thanks for sharing. -Lynn
Ps. I just spotted some fun irony…. The ads that show up on your site for me are Dr OZ’s $4 wrinkle cream and an article about dark spot removal that promises to be “shocking”. Google search engines know me pretty well ☺️ Here is hoping I can manage a buzz cut someday.
My husband had full, blonde hair. When it began to thin on top, he went from gel to buzzing, which keeps things smart and neat and cheap. Now it’s totally shades of grey with a dark fleck on one side, his special mark 😉 That is all part of getting older (we’re 50ish) and we’re doing it together, so that when I tired of chemicals and monthly upkeep of dyed hair, I let mine go grey, too – why shouldn’t I, when the pressure is not on men to dye theirs?!
Looking back, I am sad about the money wasted on the influence of our environment’s expectations. It’s getting worse and worse for young people, so I would say keep doing what works for you – you will find someone who loves you and not just how you look!
When I was recently extreme decluttering, when I got to my bathroom I found tons of those quick-fix beauty products — half unused or partially used, many that were such a complete waste of money. I also have the self tanner that made me look like an oompa loompa!
Over the course of the last several years, I’ve began taking a far more natural approach to what goes on my skin, hair, etc. I’ve also focused on eating better to make me feel better, which is another frugal approach to having a better outward appearance.
I did this both for frugality’s sake and health’s sake. Going back through all the overpriced products, medicines, hair dyes, and gadgets, my new mindset remembers when I fared a lot worse when I was using those products. My hair was always oily, my skin always dry, always breaking out, always had a weird haircut from a bad hairdresser, a bit overweight and always bloated, and obsessed with minute details of my appearance.
Not only do I feel like I’m lower maintenance that I was now that I practice frugal/natural beauty regimen alternatives, but I think I actually have better looking and healthier hair, skin, etc. (now that I don’t even obsess over it that much!)
Great post! I recognize so much of myself in what you write. I’ve also been cutting my own hair since college, and now at 55 I can’t imagine how much money I’ve saved 😉 I’ve had many moments of buzzing it all off after letting it grow out, and as you say, it’s totally a restart button to do so. Now, like another of your readers, I’m letting it grow long – maybe my last chance at hippiedom. At any rate, thanks as always for your honest introspections, much appreciated!