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Shatter Your Definition Of Success

By Frugaling 9 Comments

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McMansions

Tell me about successful people and you might be inclined to rattle off resumes. Perhaps these people work hard and make sizable sums of money. Maybe they are moving into multiple-thousand square foot homes with ample room. They could even have the prestigious title of doctor or chief executive.

In our highly individualistic society that hails “hard work” and “grit” and “responsibility” and “choice,” we learn early on what success looks like. Different cultures have variations of vocational prestigiousness, but many share in the desire to own land, property, and make more money than most. To be accomplished, one must follow this tattered path.

The ability to captivate through material possessions and titles is dangerous. Real success and accomplishment seems lost amidst this cavalcade of crap. Worse, these measures of success are not afforded to everyone. Minorities and those from disenfranchised backgrounds are not offered the same opportunities to “succeed” in these traditional ways. For example, faculty at institutions of higher learning are overwhelmingly white men, and that’s a problem for everyone.

Our ideas and definitions of success are decrepit. We need new measures, and we’re long overdue. If success cannot be afforded with greater equality, why do we continue to allow these narrow ideas to continue? What exactly are we doing with these antiquated ideals? Why do we trumpet individual achievement that only goes to consume and perpetuate inequities?

Society benefits in the propagation of materialism and consumption. And current measures of success conveniently fit this modality. Buy the home, buy a bigger one. Buy the car, buy a more luxurious one.

We need better, less financially dependent measures of successes. Education is out of reach for many. Material possessions are tired and tried methods of achievement. Income disparities are nearing Gilded Age levels again. Larger homes consume more fossil fuels to heat and cool. Luxury vehicles tend to burn through gasoline. And prestigious titles seem reserved for those born and ascribed status.

Just because “success” works for capitalism doesn’t mean it works for the collective. Let’s craft something a little different. Perhaps we can live in a world that defines success flexibly. Perhaps we can see success in the helping hand, time, and dollar given to anyone/someone in need. Perhaps we can see success in the mother that raises children who respect the planet and find ways to help others. Perhaps we need to break out from formal strictures that rule over our lives, and consider that consumption cannot equal achievement.

Disbanding this present thinking provides for a future with hope for the masses. Achievements needn’t be through prescribed methods and lists of prestigious professions. We need a world with janitors, plumbers, assistant to the assistant managers, and everything in between. We need a world where someone making $35,000 per year, retiring with little, but helping find foster homes for children is seen as a hero (and heck, would it hurt to pay that person a little more?).

Humans are incredibly creative; yet, we have allowed these to persist. We are flawed, but have great potential. It’s time to shed archaic messages. They were convenient for marketers, but harbored horrific messages to those who couldn’t meet the prescribed rules.

How would you define success? Who are your role models? What do you think about income, vocation, and education as measures of success?

Filed Under: Social Justice Tagged With: achievement, Career, Gilded Age, Income, Income Inequality, jobs, rich, Success, vocation, Wealth

What Won’t You Do For Money?

By Frugaling 11 Comments

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Manhattan Skyline
Photo: Geraint Rowland/Flickr

Hoping for a better life

As children, we’re often exposed to idealistic messages: work hard and become whatever you want. But possibilities change and reduce as we age. The responsibilities grow, and the window to become whatever you can dream up tends to dissipate.

It would be nice to champion what many popular businesspersons say about success and achievement. It would be nice to say that the world is your oyster, and you can do anything you can think up. Unfortunately, that would negate the very real circumstances that we all find ourselves in. We come from different races, ethnicities, socioeconomics, genders, and more. Life varies, as do the opportunities.

Most of us cannot drop everything — all our responsibilities — to fulfill dream vocations. Many are just working to pay the bills — to get by. Some are burdened by being single parents, persons with disabilities, and any number of things that pose greater challenges to “making it.”

Debt holds back those dreams further

My frugal journey started with many zeros in the opposite direction. I was in debt to the tune of nearly $40,000, and without an escape plan. I wanted to have a life of freedom to ponder my intrinsic interests and passions. I wanted the opportunity to find my dream job — regardless of income level.

Before I could pursue those future possibilities, I needed to make more income and pay off massive amounts of debt. My paychecks weren’t enough to pay off loans and survive in graduate school. The equation didn’t compute, and I was running a scary deficit.

The mountain of debt seemed unconquerable. Dreams of a pleasant future were held back, and replaced with terrifying sweats and nervous nights. Debt was closing doors in my life. I needed more money.

Desperate times, desperate measures?

From the very start of Frugaling, I received emails from individuals and organizations wanting to write articles for me. At first I was flattered by their offers — some even included payments! Swirling with pride and appreciation at being offered real money to simply publish articles, I contemplated their offers, but hesitated.

I soon learned that these were “sponsored article” or “paid guest post” emails. They increased in frequency and payment amounts as I continued to write and grow Frugaling. Over the course of nearly two years, I received thousands of dollars in guest posting opportunities, but never accepted them. The emails tended to be from predatory lenders and questionable corporations. They seemed eager to receive traffic from websites and to pull from others’ reputations.

That money could’ve taken me on a European vacation, if I accepted every offer that came my way. My debt would’ve been paid off faster, and investing started sooner. There’s just one catch, I would’ve sold out my entire audience — including you!

Recently, I received another email that stated I could receive about $500 to place a sponsored article on Frugaling. Again, I thought about what it meant if I shared it with you all. What I found was that it wasn’t worth it. What I do on this website is about more than just making me more money. Ironic, seeing as this personal finance site, isn’t it?

Finding limits and sticking to them

Most individuals don’t kill, lie, cheat, or steal to make money. Whether religiously informed or intrinsically motivated, these are ethical/moral limits that prevent people from acting on individual needs. They recognize — whether consciously or unconsciously — that hurting another for one’s own gain isn’t collectively advantageous. In other words, individual achievement should not trump collective successes.

Turning down hundreds of dollars for 500 to 700-word articles from shady organizations and individuals was a limit for me. Motivated by a fear of alienating you and misrepresenting my values, I decided against any of these offers — and will continue to.

Nonetheless, I’m left to wonder:

  • What won’t you do for money?
  • What are your limits?
  • Where do your ethics come from?
  • How do you find ways to financially better yourself and others?
  • When have you said “no” to money?

Filed Under: Make Money, Social Justice Tagged With: achievement, advertising, dollars, Finances, Greed, Income, money, Success, Wealth

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