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Sometimes I Forget We’re At War

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Act Up on Berlin Wall - Cold War

We are spending all of this money for death and destruction, and not nearly enough money for life and constructive development…when the guns of war become a national obsession, social needs inevitably suffer.
– Martin Luther King

I leaned over to my girlfriend, and conspiratorially – by heart – recited the Pledge of Allegiance: “One Nation, under God, indivisible….” Even as I said the words, I was surprised by my own fluency. How could I remember this pledge? The answer was simple: I was a product of the American education system. Thus, I spent every morning of class – Kindergarten through 12th grade – up, at attention, and announcing allegiance to my country of birth, as if it was sensitive to my voice. Without my verbal confirmation of unwavering support, the class and country would look down upon me – not just because I’d be sitting down.

Amidst my puberty, horrible awkwardness with the opposite sex, and raging hormones displaced on parents, America fought wars. I vividly remember biology class in 6th grade, when the loudspeaker croaked alive – class would be cancelled. Then, teachers sobbed and kids went home. My parents hurried as fast as they could – to hug me and check to see if I was alright. Of course I was – this was Pittsburgh, mah! But we couldn’t stop watching the news for weeks. Over and over again, the World Trade Center towers fell.

I had stood atop those towers a year prior. My 12-year-old mind couldn’t compute how some of the tallest buildings in the world became shorter than our house – the great had fallen. I was more concerned and interested with rollerblading, biking, and playing videogames.

Our leader delivered rousing messages of revenge. They would pay. To us nincompoops, “they” was this exceedingly abstract term. Who were “they?” Could you be “they?” Could we be “they?” Then “they” became “terrorists.” The terrorists who would pay.

We were told the terrorists couldn’t accept our way of life. The terrorists couldn’t understand our freedoms. The terrorists couldn’t accept our Westernized culture where women could work, roam, and divorce as they please.

Across the Muslim-majority world, America aggressed. Afghanistan, Iraq, the Horn of Africa, Libya, and other sovereign nations felt the boot of U.S. military. We killed, slaughtered, massacred, bombed, shot, and burned. Thousands of service members and “enemy combatants” died. An unknown number of civilians also perished.

When I was 17, I almost enlisted in the U.S. Army. I wanted to be a 17X (“Seventeen x-ray”). This new position short-tracked enlisted folks into a Special Forces career. I idolized their bravery, willpower, and strength. But I backed down after considering what else I could do with my life – at least for the next few years. Nonetheless, I admired every other friend and neighbor that committed to this hard choice.

All these words – written in past tense – belie the reality of my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. Sometimes I forget we’re still at war even today. Fifteen years and counting, the War on Terror remains unresolved and unsolved. We cannot completely write these tragedies in history books and say we’ve moved onto a new chapter. We cannot say this will be last combat troop found blown up by an improvised explosive device or dictator that suffers our wrath. We’re not finished yet.

In 2015, the War on Terror was estimated to cost at least $1.7 trillion. No, writing that word – “trillion” – doesn’t do it justice. Let me write out every zero behind it.

$1,700,000,000,000.

The first three zeros are for a great day’s work. The second three zeros give you a lawyers’ salary. The third three zeros will buy you a fleet of Airbus aircraft. The next three zeros give you a greater gross domestic product than countries. And the next digit – the number for trillion – buys you a country or two or three.

This level of wealth could’ve bought us a lot of influence in the world, rebuilt our crumbling infrastructure, provided greater humanitarian relief for refugees, and more. But we didn’t think twice within this representative democracy to vote in representatives who would vote in favor of war repeatedly. Those votes were easy in comparison to providing safe bridges, smooth roads, clean water, affordable education, universal healthcare, and/or subsidizing clean energy. The initiatives that would’ve directly impacted our lives for the better – those were the partisan battles of my adolescence. And even if we enacted all those plans, we would still have money leftover to feed the impoverished, house the homeless, and have a roaring economy.

We chose war.

This choice cost us every year as taxpayers, too. About 18-20% of the federal budget goes towards “National Defense” spending. For every dollar, we burn 20% with the goal of keeping us safe. If I snatched away one-fifth of every paycheck from you, wouldn’t you do something about it? Would you let me siphon off your hard-earned dollars?

But I don’t hate all taxes. In fact, I love them! They pay for libraries, fire and police departments, National Guard troops, family members’ disability payments, and Medicare. They provide for those in need; albeit, they could do better. They provide grants and funding for disadvantaged populations to go to college; albeit, they could do better. They provide unemployment support if we lose our jobs suddenly; albeit, they could do better.

We’ve spent 15 years punishing the Muslim-majority countries without resolution. If bloodshed is not enough, are we not sick of war’s economic costs for those at home and abroad? Are we not tired of losing one-fifth of our work? Are we not tired of our worldwide reputation of war before diplomacy?

Years passed where I dreamt of serving my leaders. I wanted to take care of soldiers in combat as a psychologist. I used to take great pride in our flag, to stand with allegiance, and be a good citizen. I loved when I unwrapped my U.S. passport for the first time to flip through the pages of history and read our proud declarations of freedom. But I’ve been changed by a war more than half my life.

Congregation Without Consumption

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Mall of America

I often felt lonely growing up. Sometimes it was by choice, sometimes by consequence. Whatever the case, that aching feeling would hit me – I’d want to move, do, fix, and solve the discomfort. Isolation and loneliness prompted me to go out – to frequent places with people.

Unfortunately, people tend to congregate at locations of consumption. You can see it in families taking weekend trips to the mall to walk, eat, and shop. The window shopping and actual shopping make people feel purposeful.

When I’d be down and out, I’d find comfort in the smiling faces of store clerks and fellow shoppers. People were happy to be buying and selling products. The light shined brighter. Smells of candied nuts and pretzels wafted around. And hip music reverberated through the stores. I felt happy for a moment.

From the outside, it seemed like everyone won. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Conspicuous shopping and browsing can lead to debt, overdue bills, and lessening credit scores (not to mention great environmental harm). There’s a psychological cost to this repetitive reinforcement, as well. The visit makes us happy, and we want to return to duplicate and relive these positive feelings. The purpose is in the purchase. Without the purchase, who are we? Without the mall, where does positivity stem from?

When I first started saving money and becoming more frugal, I didn’t notice my removal from society’s consumptive catches. There was this new purpose to live within my means. That seemed to be enough. I was able to share my journey on Frugaling, too. But over time, I started to feel this lump in my throat. The social outings to spend money at restaurants, go to movies, and frequent trips were severely reduced.

That feeling of loneliness crept back in. With each effort to save, came losses in social situations. As much as I tried to build in free time with friends that was actually free, I realized that it was challenging.

We all want to consume and spend and travel and adventure. There’s excitement and energy in all these activities, but too frequently, there are direct costs associated.

We each need to establish a balance in our lives where we are spending within our means, while achieving our needed social connection with others. To sacrifice the latter may mean suffering greatly and failing to maintain long-term frugality. Suddenly, the endeavor is unintentionally punishing.

To combat and bolster our social support, connection, and integration, we must embrace congregation without consumption. These are the moments circled around a board game, watching a movie at home, cooking at home, biking, running, swimming, etc.

If frugality is a philosophy and way of life, we must define our methods for staying sane and healthy. It should never stand in the way of healthy psychological functioning and connection with others. To say “no” to social gatherings that need money is a tremendous way to save, but costs something more than dollars and cents. There’s a social factor that cuts deep – for both parties involved.

Staying connected and frugal requires proactive planning. The initiative is on you – for better and for worse – to suggest events without a price tag. We are all in this together, but someone needs to start the trend. Longer term, our society must find new homes for purpose and energy with others – something beyond the brightly lit walls of malls.

Now, the important question becomes, Where will you spend your weekend?

Is Capitalism Compatible With Caring?

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Google is known for being one of the best places to work, with some of the happiest employees.

On the cost of caring

Each year, 217 million workdays are lost or less productive due to mental health concerns. Indirect mental health costs on companies are estimated at $59 billion. But some estimates put these costs as high as $80 to $100 billion. These staggering numbers often serve as motivators for human resources departments and corporations to take action and “solve” mental health crises.

For each specific diagnosis, the statistics vary widely. Researchers tend to look at indirect costs, direct health coverage costs, productivity disruptions, absenteeism, and failure to be mindful while on the job. One of the more common ones, depression, costs employers about $44 billion in lost productive time. Additionally, employees with depression miss about 4.8 days of work and 11.5 days of reduced productivity every 90 days.

Another frequent mental health concern in employees is anxiety. Symptoms of anxiety manifest in various ways, but generally are closely linked with stressors. Anxiety disorders cost about $42.3 billion in the 90s. Inevitably, that estimate would likely be far greater today.

The most expensive diagnosis is usually bipolar disorder. From absenteeism to lost productivity to medications, this disorder has a potent effect on profits. In fact, it costs about $6,836 per employee with bipolar disorder. Closely linked, suicide amounts to $34.6 billion in medical costs and work lost. And non-fatal suicide attempts cost $4.3 billion in lost wages and productivity.

Make companies care through stats

All of these statistics come from fairly reputable sources such as the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), National Institute of Mental Health (NIH/NIMH), National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI), and peer-reviewed journal articles. As an academic, I trust that these organizations are estimating — to the best of their ability — the high price of mental health in America.

In the past, many companies discriminated against applicants with mental health concerns. Frequently, people were ruled out for jobs they would otherwise be qualified for because of mental illnesses. What the CDC, NAMI, and NIMH have worked tirelessly to do is normalize mental health concerns and reduce stigmas. They’ve worked to interject a hypothesis for companies, which is that everybody wins when you care for employees.

Each organization learned that to talk to companies you need to focus on the bottom line: profits. They’ve excelled at making terrific inroads with corporate giants that have instituted better fringe benefits, fun activities in the workplace, and greater time off. They know that companies want happy, healthy workers because that leads to greater sales, revenue, and shareholder returns. And, for the most part, it’s helped.

Treat the illness and profits will boom!

Mental health advocates in the corporate world seem to politely accept that companies are only motivated by numbers. They argue that untreated and undertreated mental concerns cost more than proper treatment.

Understanding this basic premise, companies have accepted a Mr-Fix-It-style psychology. Treat the illness, get better, and then get back to work! Similarly, healthcare companies rarely offer long-term mental health treatment, as it’s limited to short-term, brief therapy. To offer something more substantial would require companies to pay more profits to care for employees.

This pressure has led companies to ask researchers and academics to think of faster ways to treat distress. The question seems to be, How can we rapidly patch people up so that they can get back to work?

Models of treatment have focused on prescription pills and quick rounds of talk therapy to douse the fires. We’ve learned to cap emotional distress — to keep it in line with what corporate America needs.

Companies aren’t the victims, we are

Capitalism is predicated on a fatal flaw: work hard and be rewarded. Unfortunately, people are all born with different strengths and weaknesses, positions in society, and economic hand-me-downs. Working hard will look different for everyone. We are fundamentally created unequal, unlike the founding fathers suggested.

Men are generally taller than women, but that doesn’t mean they should get paid any different. Women live longer than men on average, but that doesn’t mean companies should begin to hire women because they could spend more years working. Our differences must be balanced out, because purely capitalistic forces fail to change the systemic problems.

And just like the aforementioned physicality and livelihood between genders, there’s great variety in mental health needs. People are not raised equally. Some parents are wonderful — others abusive. Some schools are the best in the country, and others are the worst. Some experience difficult traumas, and others seem to float by without incident. Our experiences from womb to tomb will vary greatly, and we need to learn to embrace this fact. Some people will need greater mental health care.

Flipping our understanding of mental health

Anything that gets in the way of working hard, being productive, and increasing revenue has — up until this point — been seen as an impediment. Being depressed has become a “bad” thing that you should avoid. Get that treated! It’s considered a flaw to suffer and hurt, because of the cost to a company’s bottom line. You’re causing profits to dip! Additionally, it’s encouraged people to stay tight-lipped and private about their struggles for fear of being ostracized.

When dollar signs flashed before corporations’ eyes, they listened. They understood that by making their employees healthier, they’d increase their bottom line. It would seem — for a moment — that capitalism was compatible with caring. But what if the money wasn’t there, would companies still care?

Companies desperately need to change the way they do business. Companies must see their employees as autonomous, capable, and creative humans. Companies must provide a space to excel, but also to seek freedom. Companies must look beyond the dollar amounts and pay for better time off and vacations. Companies must do their best to disregard the power of shareholders, in favor of respecting their employees.

Medical and mental health are in decline in America. Our system is bloated, expensive, and frankly, embarrassingly flaccid. It’s time we flip the paradigm. It’s time we say that workplaces need a reboot. It’s time for employers to receive the treatment. Perhaps it’s time to make companies work for us?

Free Will Isn’t Real, Until We Do This

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Photo: Angie Yates/Flickr

Free will: an American value

Free will is defined as, “the power of acting without the constraint of necessity or fate; the ability to act at one’s own discretion.” This concept — along with self-determination and willpower — are at the heart of America’s capitalism and democracy. Fundamentally, it’s the ability to choose actions without restrictions.

Americans tend to hold free will in high regard — whether you live here or not. When the system is working, people are working. When people are working, they should have increased free will. The mainstream message is that if you work hard, choose wisely, and are entrepreneurial, you will surely succeed.

How to envision another’s free will

Unfortunately, free will is a philosophically dense, nightmarish concept to swallow. The aforementioned dictionary definition doesn’t speak to the measurements of “one’s own discretion.”

For instance, what amount of free will does a…

  • North Korean have under a “supreme leader’s” rule have?
  • Child living in a physically and emotionally abusive household have?
  • Minority living in Ferguson, Missouri have?
  • Woman working on Wall Street have?

In each of these disparate examples, an individual has their free will impacted. The North Korean doesn’t have access to the Internet, controversial literature, and cannot speak in critique of their leader. The child living in an abusive household has no money, a small social network, and little experience (if any) experience escaping the oppressive household. The minority living in Ferguson, Missouri might feel coerced or pressured by the current police presence, and suffer from racial stereotypes in the workplace. The woman is in a world that’s eschewed the role of women, and frequently denigrates their intelligence and place in business.

Free will is not universal, but relative

Despite contrary evidence, America continues to trumpet free will as universal and absolute. You have it, and always have it no matter who or where you are — absolutely.

In reality, free will appears to be relative and on a spectrum. This means that the free will I experience day-to-day would differ based on location, if I was a different race, income class, etc. There is no absolute — only more or less.

At times, I’ve criticized the idea of free will because it’s frequently used to explain class and income differences. It can be used to blame people, instead of properly attributing individual and societal variables. The message goes something like this: “If they would just work harder, maybe they’d be more successful.”

Messages manipulate our free will, too

Recently, I wrote about refusing to be a “customer in training.” My argument was that IKEA’s powerful brand recognition and loyalty efforts affected my shopping decisions. Moreover, that being a child, exposed to IKEA’s lifestyle design affected my decisions as an adult.

One of the common complaints I heard from readers was that I was blaming the corporation for my own decisions — that I wasn’t taking responsibility for my actions. Essentially, the critical readers were suggesting that I had free will, and should know better — that I chose to purchase IKEA products (regardless of being exposed as a child). Rather than deny that claim, I hesitate to provide an answer to it, as I don’t have one.

Those in Western society are born with advertising everywhere. We never had the free will to say “no” to ads. We never had the free will to prevent magazines, TV shows, and billboards from advertising us at every waking moment. And now, many businesses (including this one) use advertising to supplement revenue that wouldn’t otherwise be there. I wouldn’t make a dime off my website and the time I spend would never be paid, if there weren’t ads.

Advertising works, too. People buy after seeing external messages. The industry is growing at epic proportions, and it’s hard to find an accurate number for the amount of money spent to advertise to consumers. What we do know is that research suggests people are tremendously affected by emotionally provocative marketing campaigns. Thus, companies will continue to advertise.

Financial free will isn’t real, until we do this…

Today, I urge you to question the concept of financial free will — that some have worked harder than others for wealth. If not for yourself, then for others who might not be as well off.

Recognize free will as relative and on a spectrum

We are born into a society with relative free will — on a spectrum of more or less — and we are targeted via advertisements to spend and/or “choose” one product over another. We are manipulated for dollars — in complete contrast to the ideals of free will.

Notice that successes and/or failures are both individual and societal

Additionally, it doesn’t do us any good to blame one’s failures or successes on pure individual free will, hard work, and entrepreneurism. Instead, we need to properly attribute the societal, cultural, and communal attributes that helped that individual accomplish their goals.

Develop a skepticism towards advertisements and external pressures

This can be tricky to accomplish. Advertisements are everywhere. Fortunately, you can reduce advertising messages by turning off the TV and downloading Internet ad blockers. Those two steps alone will prevent most of the messages from getting through. Remember that nothing truly necessary should need to be advertised. If it’s being advertised, it likely isn’t a necessity like air or tap water.

Provide equal opportunity to others

To truly have a functioning democracy, meritocracy, and informed electorate, a society must have strong health care, education, and living wages for all. As these needs are restricted, so are the dreams for future generations and social/income mobility. By providing these basic living standards, more people will succeed.

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