Frugaling

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What Won’t You Do For Money?

By Frugaling 11 Comments

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Manhattan Skyline
Photo: Geraint Rowland/Flickr

Hoping for a better life

As children, we’re often exposed to idealistic messages: work hard and become whatever you want. But possibilities change and reduce as we age. The responsibilities grow, and the window to become whatever you can dream up tends to dissipate.

It would be nice to champion what many popular businesspersons say about success and achievement. It would be nice to say that the world is your oyster, and you can do anything you can think up. Unfortunately, that would negate the very real circumstances that we all find ourselves in. We come from different races, ethnicities, socioeconomics, genders, and more. Life varies, as do the opportunities.

Most of us cannot drop everything — all our responsibilities — to fulfill dream vocations. Many are just working to pay the bills — to get by. Some are burdened by being single parents, persons with disabilities, and any number of things that pose greater challenges to “making it.”

Debt holds back those dreams further

My frugal journey started with many zeros in the opposite direction. I was in debt to the tune of nearly $40,000, and without an escape plan. I wanted to have a life of freedom to ponder my intrinsic interests and passions. I wanted the opportunity to find my dream job — regardless of income level.

Before I could pursue those future possibilities, I needed to make more income and pay off massive amounts of debt. My paychecks weren’t enough to pay off loans and survive in graduate school. The equation didn’t compute, and I was running a scary deficit.

The mountain of debt seemed unconquerable. Dreams of a pleasant future were held back, and replaced with terrifying sweats and nervous nights. Debt was closing doors in my life. I needed more money.

Desperate times, desperate measures?

From the very start of Frugaling, I received emails from individuals and organizations wanting to write articles for me. At first I was flattered by their offers — some even included payments! Swirling with pride and appreciation at being offered real money to simply publish articles, I contemplated their offers, but hesitated.

I soon learned that these were “sponsored article” or “paid guest post” emails. They increased in frequency and payment amounts as I continued to write and grow Frugaling. Over the course of nearly two years, I received thousands of dollars in guest posting opportunities, but never accepted them. The emails tended to be from predatory lenders and questionable corporations. They seemed eager to receive traffic from websites and to pull from others’ reputations.

That money could’ve taken me on a European vacation, if I accepted every offer that came my way. My debt would’ve been paid off faster, and investing started sooner. There’s just one catch, I would’ve sold out my entire audience — including you!

Recently, I received another email that stated I could receive about $500 to place a sponsored article on Frugaling. Again, I thought about what it meant if I shared it with you all. What I found was that it wasn’t worth it. What I do on this website is about more than just making me more money. Ironic, seeing as this personal finance site, isn’t it?

Finding limits and sticking to them

Most individuals don’t kill, lie, cheat, or steal to make money. Whether religiously informed or intrinsically motivated, these are ethical/moral limits that prevent people from acting on individual needs. They recognize — whether consciously or unconsciously — that hurting another for one’s own gain isn’t collectively advantageous. In other words, individual achievement should not trump collective successes.

Turning down hundreds of dollars for 500 to 700-word articles from shady organizations and individuals was a limit for me. Motivated by a fear of alienating you and misrepresenting my values, I decided against any of these offers — and will continue to.

Nonetheless, I’m left to wonder:

  • What won’t you do for money?
  • What are your limits?
  • Where do your ethics come from?
  • How do you find ways to financially better yourself and others?
  • When have you said “no” to money?

Filed Under: Make Money, Social Justice Tagged With: achievement, advertising, dollars, Finances, Greed, Income, money, Success, Wealth

My High School Gambling Problem

By Frugaling 9 Comments

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Poker Table Chips Cards Gambling Problem
Photo: flickr/imagesofmoney

As a Millennial and part of the tech generation, I grew up around computers. I can’t remember much of a time before the Internet. Computers were ever-present by the time I reached middle school. When I was in fourth grade, I learned HTML and began writing code by hand – a geek of the highest order.

In elementary school, my parents bought their first computer. I was glued to the magic of the mouse, keyboard, and screen working together in a confluence of beautiful technology. These integrated zeros and ones seemed to dance before me, and it wasn’t long before I started making money from it all.

Today, I have a secret to share with you all: in high school, I had a gambling problem. In 2004, I started playing poker with my friends. It started out pretty casual and fun; lighthearted, even. Large groups of people would coalesce at one person’s house every couple weeks, and a doable $5 buy-in would be advertised. Texts and phone calls would be sent out, and the get-togethers were great.

Poker Cards Chips Texas Hold Em Gambling Problem
Photo: flickr/deutero

The buy-ins (the amount to play in tournament-style texas hold ’em poker) grew, too. What was $5 soon became $10, $20, and there were even re-buys (to buy back in for extra if you had lost once) at another $20. The shared prizes were amounting to hundreds and hundreds of dollars. If you won, you could easily walk away with an extra $100-200+ in your pockets. The infusion of funds was electrifying. I was hooked and loving it.

Some people were inspired by the statistical underpinnings. Behind it all, poker between friends was a stats-based game of skill and chance. But if you mastered the art of stats, your chances became stronger. Poker wasn’t pure gambling, as the same winners would be on the leaderboard week-to-week. They were doing something right.

The mathematics never appealed to me; instead, I loved the interpersonal dynamics – the play, candor, and fight between personalities at the table. Give me 8 other opponents, and I believed strongly that I could understand their style, bets, and choices. This was exciting and enticing. Unfortunately, at the end of every tournament, the game would be done for a couple weeks. I’d have to put my earnings and love for poker on hold.

I was looking to fill that gap, and that’s when I found online poker. The world of online poker is complicated to explain in the space and time I have today. Basically, the in-person life I was experiencing every couple weeks could happen every day – at any time. There were hundreds of thousands of players worldwide. Money was flowing – some would say overflowing. A growing mass of amateurs were joining, dropping $100, $200, $1,000 into online accounts. Frankly, they were suckers and I was ready to take advantage of their inexperience.

In 2005-2006, I was playing regularly online through two websites. I entered a couple tournaments and made nearly $2,000 in a couple weeks. When I played “cash games” (no buy-in and not in a tournament style), I was averaging anywhere from $7-10 per hour. Mind you, I was a sophomore/junior in high school, and this kind of money was astronomical to me.

Unfortunately, I had one major problem: I couldn’t stop. The money was so powerful and my earnings were ridiculously lucrative. I lost respect for money, and that’s where things got troublesome.

I was only 16 years old, had made thousands of dollars off of poker, and I was getting bored. Better said, I wanted to raise the stakes and make more money. $2,000 here and there was no longer enough – I wanted the $50,000 prizes and $50 an hour average pay. Amidst this mix of greed and boredom was a toxic combination. I started playing one-on-one (colloquially: “heads-up”) for hundreds of dollars at a time.

The numbers didn’t really mean anything, and it all began to feel pretty surreal. Once, I continually bet $100 against someone – over and over again – until I lost about $400. My heart was racing. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Within seconds, I had lost hundreds, and all without care. I had been gambling for entertainment, and this was never the intention.

Off and on, I struggled to stop or curtail it – a telltale sign of addiction. The rush was calling and I itched to play more – in time and money. As my winnings disappeared, I saw my savings account go back down to near-zero. In addiction parlance, I had hit rock bottom, and began selling off dvds, books, and anything I could get my hands on to keep funding the rush. When I ran out of that, I used credit cards. When I ran out of that, I realized I had lost everything.

I’m about 5-6 years “sober” from poker/gambling problem. I haven’t touched a deck of cards to teach or play texas hold ’em. I blocked and closed all online accounts. Like all dependencies, I know this itch is eager to get back out there and play another hand. Instead, I’m writing this article and saving my precious pennies. Now, my life is changing and it has nothing to do with the cards I’ve been dealt.

Filed Under: Social Justice Tagged With: Cards, cash, Gambling, Games, Greed, money, Online, Poker, Texas Hold Em

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