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Everything Must Go

By Frugaling 16 Comments

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Minimalism Horizon Save Money

Over the last two weeks, I’ve sold much of what filled my house. I’m past the point of being frugal, and well into the world of minimalism and austerity. I mean, it’s empty in here, readers.

All of my physical books are for sale. I have a TV stand, but I sold my TV and Apple device. It’s the beginning of summer, but I already sold my air conditioner. Oh, I just sold my car, too.

With each sale, I feel this push and pull inside me; the wonderful feeling of letting go, which brings both loss and freedom. I’m free to spend the money inappropriately, but I won’t. I’m free to buy more stuff before I move, but I won’t. I’m free to feel loss, and I might.

Like a reflection of the bare rooms in my apartment, emptiness might affect me. It feels… lonely to be bare — like what I own hugs and tucks me in at night (I wish!). Everyone from my parents to random visitors have remarked at the empty nature of my home in the past. I’m curious what they’d think now.

Part of me wonders why I crave to fill every nook and cranny with goods. Why is it more natural for me to fill a house than empty it? Why do I feel embarrassed to welcome people into my home without stuff occupying the space?

I’m living with an everything-must-go mentality right now. A fire sale of sorts. And every purchase that goes against my new, frugal self seems to be in violation of my debt reduction plan. I don’t want that to happen.

I can’t predict how I’ll feel over the coming months; for now, I’m taking action to change my life. All that remains is me — that’s the one consistency. What fills my room is me — for better and for worse.

Filed Under: Minimalism Tagged With: Frugal, letting go, minimal, Minimalism, self, selling

Your Obligations May Actually Be Choices

By Frugaling 2 Comments

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Wedding obligations bride costs money choice
Here comes the bride… And the obligations.

This is a guest article from Stefanie! She’s trying to find ways to stretch her budget in one of the most expensive cities out there, New York City. A graduate of New York University’s drama and psychology programs at the height of the financial crisis, Stefanie discovered the world of financial planning out of necessity. Thanks for sharing your insight!

Almost everything you spend money on is by choice. Yes, you have needs, but you choose those needs. Yes, there are expectations, but you choose which expectations you care to meet.

With the exception of taxes (and health insurance), you don’t have to spend money on anything. Yet, people say it all the time, “…but I have to buy…” But no one is forcing you to buy something. See, you have to recognize that you are the one choosing your spending priorities.

I hear a lot of the “I have to” justification of spending when it comes to social, cultural, and familial obligations. These obligations are typically a duty or commitment to which you feel bound, not something to which you are bound. This is an important distinction.

I know that my personal feelings of obligation and commitment fall on a spectrum. For instance, when invited to a friend’s birthday party, I don’t feel that I really have to attend, but it would be nice. With a wedding, I’ll start to feel more of that sense of obligation. The sliding spectrum continues, and if it’s my sister’s wedding, I feel completely tied, obliged to the occasion. But no matter how I feel about those events, I can’t unquestioningly commit to attending until I’ve assessed the monetary reality.

Let’s say my best friend asked me to be a bridesmaid. I would feel a strong sense of commitment, but not be able to accept until I understood the full financial implications. Would I be expected to purchase a dress? Accessories? Attend other bridal events? What would be the total cost? Now, if I were to assume an average, which according to weddingchannel.com is $1,695 to be a bridesmaid, I would have to decline regardless of my sense of obligation. Unfortunately, that’s a choice many people fail to see, and it impacts their future financial success. Their sense of obligation overtakes everything else. If you can afford it, fantastic! If you can’t, that could be downright dangerous.

The environment, society, and larger culture that you are a part of may harbor even stronger expectations. I’m going to continue to use the wedding industry as an example. It’s a relatable illustration of how we allow the sense of obligation to justify extraordinary overspending.

If I ever get married, there’d be a host of expectations surrounding the big day; especially, as I am part of a strong cultural group with deep rooted traditions. But as strongly as I, my parents, friends, and community feel about those things, the thought of spending $28,400 (the cost of the average wedding in 2013) on one day feels exceptionally wasteful. The funny thing is, a lot of people would agree that the number seems insane, but when they get down to the actual planning and fulfilling the requests of mom, dad, grandma, the girlfriends, the church, etc., suddenly the spending seems justified. Meeting expectations of others, regardless of how impractical, overtakes sound financial decisions.

My challenge to everyone, and to myself, is to never use the phrase “I have to” when it comes to spending my money. At times, I may feel a strong sense of commitment to myself and others – feeling obligated, but at the end of the day, the things I spend on are my choice. If we all accept that truth, perhaps we’ll all be a bit wiser about weighing our financial reality against our sense of obligation in the future.

Have you ever felt obligated to participate (a potluck, wedding, etc.)? How have you dealt with it? When do you feel you can choose something?

Filed Under: Save Money Tagged With: bridesmaid, Budget, Costs, expectations, marriage, money, obligations, self, spending, wed, wedding

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