Frugaling

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4 Lessons From 3 Years Of Frugaling

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Photo: Dustin Lee/Unsplash

Three years ago I sat at my then-girlfriend’s kitchen counter, which looked out at the Pacific Ocean. The panoramic window looked on beautiful condos and homes nestled along the California coast. The weather was perfect, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.

Amidst this perfection, my heart sank with the weight of tens of thousands of dollars in debt. It was something that could stand in the way of relationships, compromise my job prospects, credit scores, savings, investments, retirements, and giving to others. I wanted to excise the morass of debt, but didn’t know how.

I started writing Frugaling as an aspirant — a mere amateur in the financial planning world. What could I know about saving money, making money, and changing my prospects? While I didn’t have all the answers, I had hope.

I could never have predicted what happened next.

By cataloguing my story, sharing my triumphs and travails, and being open the entire way, I benefited financially and emotionally. The former included about $40,000 in revenue. Something that would allow me to pay off almost all my debt. The latter permitted me to regain my breath — to relax once more. I was able to let go of most financial uncertainty stress.

Three years of Frugaling flew by faster than I could have ever expected. It’s hard to fathom where I was then and now. Much has changed. Here’s what I’ve learned:

The rules don’t apply evenly across populations

We don’t all start from $0, the same educational prospects, families, or social networks. We aren’t all born the same race. We aren’t each afforded a $1 million loan from our fathers.

Finance, while personal, goes beyond “personal finance.” After writing for years, it’s clear both in comments, criticisms, and critical thinking that society has great power in affording people the opportunity to succeed.

Whenever we talk about financial management, we need to consider multiple stories — not just our own.

People care deeply about food concerns

Some of the most popular articles have been about food. And I don’t think it’s an accident. When people look at their budgets, one of the highest lines is for food.

Food is often an area where people look to cut back on. Maybe you eat out too much. Maybe you eat too much. Maybe you spend too much on coffees.

More importantly, any little change in your food spending instantly affects your total spend for a month. Reduce the regular visit to your favorite restaurant, make a meal at home, and you can immediately see the benefit to your wallet.

Simple living, minimalism, and frugality are deeply intertwined

If we imagined a venn diagram, these three concepts would greatly overlap.

Those who enjoy canning, meal planning, and living simply are usually following the frugal life, too. Minimalism directly affects budgets, too. Reducing the urge to fill closets, cabinets, and stuff the remaining areas can help you save money every month.

I’m inspired from each of these concepts. I read — mostly checking out books at the library. I cook (or attempt to) at home. And I constantly look for ways to reduce extra stuff and refuse impulse buys.

Debt can suffocate its victims

Swimming in debt made me struggle for air, space, and time. How long would I have to live this way? How long would I be able to negotiate this rat race? I felt choked by the burden.

Many live like this — even middle-income earners. One way or another they find themselves in great debt and/or living paycheck to paycheck — always on the precipice of a missed house payment, medical bill, or job loss. Every day is a struggle.

Debt has a sneaky way of controlling lives and forcing people to work more, save less, and reduce time spent with loved ones. Debt can impact marriages, relationships, and family members. And oftentimes, it’s inescapable until the final dollar is paid off.

These lessons have taken years to understand and conceptualize — to convey them today. I’m honored and humbled you’ve taken the time to follow along, read, subscribe, tweet, and share.

Cheers to another three years!

Your frugal friend,

Sam

How Joshua Becker Plans To Revolutionize Orphan Care In 2 Years

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I was raised in a middle-class household by smart, educated, and caring parents. It was quintessential suburbia throughout much of my life. And I’ve been incredibly privileged for it.

My parents held me when I was sad. They fed me when I was hungry. They clothed me when I was cold. They read to me – building a strong appreciation for language. They encouraged me to go beyond my assumptions and expectations. Without them, I’m unsure where I’d be in life.

Unfortunately, many aren’t afforded these privileges. In fact, more than 26 million children live without parents. What are first smiles, steps, and words without those who matter? The feedback and social interaction that comes from parents and their children is essential to healthy psychological development.

There’s a gap for those who need help most. Many institutionalized orphans struggle to develop at the same rate as their peers. Various developmental factors can be delayed. Some struggle with feelings of abandonment for their entire lives.

Despite being a tragically difficult problem to solve, I spoke to one man who’s looking to change everything: Joshua Becker. Better known for his successful blog, Becoming Minimalist, Joshua is taking a tremendous risk by starting The Hope Effect. The non-profit foundation is dedicated to bettering orphan care, and his plan might just work.

Recently, I had the pleasure of chatting with Joshua about his new foundation. From learning about what the heck motivated him to how he plans to make this a success for generations to come, I wanted to share some of my conversation with him today.

What motivated you to start The Hope Effect?

I asked Joshua why he wanted to work with orphans. He explained that issues of adoption and orphan care have always been important to his family. Joshua’s wife was orphaned in South Dakota, and ultimately adopted by a Nebraskan couple. That process made an imprint on his wife, and thusly, impacted him.

They were moved to give back to this community. The Becker family investigated how to better adoption processes, as they are full of institutional and governmental flaws. The bureaucracy can significantly hinder people’s ability to successfully adopt. With countless of complications, they found out that their time, money, and potential foundation would be better spent on orphan care.

What are some of the current problems in orphan care?

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I couldn’t help but wonder what orphanages are like and where care can be improved. Joshua noted that one of the biggest problems is the ratio of caregivers to orphans. There just aren’t enough people to be there for their children. In many households across America, two parents take care of two children; effectively, this makes a 1:1 ratio of caregiver to child. But in orphanages, money is tight and care is often what’s minimally needed.

Over time, this ratio can lead to serious psychological concerns. Whereas many people are held, cared for, and talked to, orphans can suffer from neglect. Joshua acknowledged that problem solving and more advanced intellectually decision making are also held back frequently.

How will The Hope Effect address these systemic problems?

Joshua aims to establish a “highly reproducible model” for orphan care – a blueprint to build homes and create avenues for change. The foundation will pay for the building, maintenance, jobs, and everything else needed to support a home for children.

The Hope Effect will start in Honduras, building a home on the site of the existing La Providencia orphan care community. La Providencia has been implementing a family-based solution to orphan care for several years. They are equipped with staff and even medical and educational facilities, making the partnership very attractive. As Joshua said, “They have a lot to teach us about what works and what doesn’t.”

As an added bonus, La Providencia employs a child psychologist. This is important to Joshua and his team as they appreciate the need for psychological wellness. Because of the great burden placed on these children, The Hope Effect intends to hire a child psychologist at all future orphan care communities they develop.

Briefly, Joshua broke away to explain the standard he wanted to achieve. These homes wouldn’t be more of the same. His bar was set high. Joshua wants his foundation to make homes he could imagine sending his own children – if something unimaginably horrible occurred. He wants every child to have an opportunity to succeed.

How can people help?

It’s all well and good to want to help others, but there are also pragmatic issues that prevent ideas like this from succeeding. Money can be a big problem – without it and this idea evaporates. I wondered how he intended to make this work.

Joshua spoke earnestly about making sizable sums of money from new book advances and his website. He said that money wasn’t the greatest concern for his family – they weren’t looking to buy a bigger house or a new flatscreen TV. Their hope was to put this money to work helping others.

Shockingly, the Becker family is funding the foundation with six figures of their own money. This seed money is intended to kick start fundraising and home building. By May, they hope to have the house built and care offered. It’s an ambitious timeline, but one they’ve researched in depth.

Additionally, The Hope Effect would look for donations to sustain development and maintenance of homes. Their initial investments radically change their charity, too. Remarkably, 100% of donations made to The Hope Effect will be given directly to orphan care. No administrative costs. No marketing fees. Nothing but direct giving to those most in need.

How did you go from minimalism and simple life advocate to philanthropist?

Becoming Minimalist was founded out of a need to cut back on excess. Now, Joshua has been writing about simple living for years, and published books to prove it! As I talked with him, I thought about his transition – from minimalist to philanthropist. How’d he go from one to the other?

Joshua rhetorically asked, “What’s next? What comes after saving money and spending less?” His family has everything they need. With the new income from book deals and constant revenue from the site, he explained that they were eager to do something other than spend it on themselves.

For the Becker family, giving generously goes hand-in-hand with living simply. To save is to ultimately be able to serve and give back. Joshua expounded that they are “committed to not buying,” and that empowers them to think of how to help. For them, it seemed like a natural progression to fund this foundation.

Where can people go to help?

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Over the next couple years, Joshua is looking to fundraise hundreds of thousands of dollars and fund multiple projects. He wants to change the paradigm for orphans.

For starters, Joshua recommends checking out The Hope Effect’s website for more information about the charity. Donations will fuel this organization to be able to directly impact the lives of orphaned children.

I was so moved by our conversation that I set up my own fundraising page to support The Hope Effect. Instead of gifts this Christmas, I’ll be asking for your help fundraising $500 by December 31st.

Will you help me?

Donate here to support this incredible cause: https://my.hopeeffect.com/frugaling

5 Ways Frugality Reduces Entitlement

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When I used to drive, the roads seemed chaotic. Drivers would cut each other off, give a finger, and visually seethe with anger. Driving wasn’t my favorite activity, but I rationalized a “need” for a car. It would take me to work, school, and play. I had “real” reasons to have one.

I clutched onto this idea and would frequently feel deserving of a car, place on the road, and conscientious, obedient drivers. I’d get furious when someone stopped at a light for a moment too long or was slowly moving in a passing lane. Others were blocking my ability to drive swiftly, effortlessly, and calmly. They were the problem!

Embarrassingly, it wasn’t the only area where I felt a sense of entitlement. A few years ago, I remember complaining that making lunches was an inconvenient task. It took too long. I expressed a desire to be able to afford and not feel guilty about eating out more often.

And then there were all the times where I convinced myself that I deserved something special. My mind of would casually drift into complacency and I’d think, “Because of all my hard work I deserve a treat.” But did was I really entitled something extra, more, or sweet?

Sometimes these thoughts would border on narcissism. I was a special, important person – better than the rest. I’d expect others to conform to my norms and settle into my expectations. I was looking out for number one. I struggled to see what others were experiencing. Like a sudden smack over the head, frugality was a departure from entitlement. Over time, it helped me see my blindspots and grow. Here are five takeaways:

1. Learning to live modestly

As I pursued frugality, life became simpler and more modest. Slowly I built more savings, cooked more meals at home, and made more donations to others. I brewed coffee at home and found ways to get it free on campus. My shoes became more beat up and shirts developed frays. I learned to patch things and upcycle. I sold my car, and bought a bike.

2. Opportunities for self-reflection and growth

With every shift, I realized a different side of my personality. The whole world got a facelift – a beautiful reframe. My bike empowered me to see the city with a fresh pair of eyes. Without the normal trappings of “success” I could reflect on who I want to be as a person. In time, I realized great fulfillment in helping others.

3. Exploring long-term happiness over short-term “fixes”

By choosing this life, I consciously eschewed the easy routes for long-term happiness. Advertisements market a life of joy through possessions, beer, soda, and cars. Oh, the things you can buy to make yourself better! Finally, those words and images stopped working. I wasn’t compelled to go to the mall after seeing an ad, and I became more hostile when I’d see them.

4. Increasing patience with impatience

Before I changed my life, long lines were infuriating. There was an incompetence to everyone around me. The checkout person wasn’t going fast enough and the shopper had too much in the cart. Over time, lines became an opportunity to breathe and think briefly. Similarly, I developed patience with others’ impatience, anger, and entitlement.

5. Departing the rat race

Entitlement is a nasty, nefarious quality. Unfortunately, it can be very difficult to see. Someone usually has to say it to your face (someone did for me). Frugality has enabled me to look for qualities in myself and others that aren’t about how much they can buy. Another’s worth is no longer tied to net worth.

How have you changed since you embraced frugality?
What did you learn?
How might you grow if you suddenly lived more minimally and mindfully?

Nonconformity Is Key

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Hard at work, trying to be different.

I regularly workout in flip flops. On the weekends I tend to wear the same shorts and/or T-shirts for two or more days. I’ve had the same breakfast for nearly five years (some type of eggs and toast). I started cutting my hair in sophomore year of college — can’t remember if I’ve paid for a haircut since then. I hate dressing up for work. I don’t have a car, and regularly bike to first dates (Where’s your car parked? Oh, the bike racks over there!). I fantasize about stealing condiments of ketchup and mustard at a local fast-food restaurant. I’d rather enjoy a good book or the company of friends over crowds in a club. I tend to leave the AC off or, at least, at sweaty levels if I’m alone. Vice versa, I tend to freeze in the winter because my room is draftier than the rest of the apartment and I keep the heat low. I’ve been known to pick up grocery items and carry them throughout the store, and then dispense of unnecessary purchases on random shelves (I’m sorry store clerks).

When I was younger, each of these pieces brought me great insecurity. I purchased Under Armour clothing and paid careful attention to be appropriately attired to workout. I was terribly concerned with how I’d be perceived. I used to drive my car to dates, and pay for parking, gas, and all the depreciation in the process. It seemed customary to have and drive a car — the movies always featured the man picking up his date. Many of these examples started out as deep vulnerabilities, which spawned into consumption.

Then frugality hit me. With all of its messages and philosophical underpinnings, I felt this pull to save wherever I could. It worked. I started to save money and act more consciously about my spending. But like many moments in my life, I was insecure to broadly announce that I was frugal. I wondered how people would react.

Reactions varied across genders, ages, and populations. Some loved and admired that I was so “young” and looking to right my financial path. Others were defensive that I was looking to save, as if it said something about their own spending. They’d question just how frugal I was being, and whether I would continue. Doubt was pervasive at times — for me and the person listening. Could I continue frugality in the face of cultural assumptions of consumption?

I gained confidence in this new life by regularly reading websites such as Becoming Minimalist, Budgets are Sexy, and Zen Habits. Each website presented a minimal, simple life. The authors had removed themselves from many of our culture’s trappings. They wanted and professed the mantra of less.

While individuals’ reactions varied, there was consistency in my reading and writing. I found solace in their words and my writing. I could reflect on what this meant to me longer term. The broader picture I kept coming back to was a sense of modesty and necessity. I needed to live on less because I was born privileged, and many weren’t. Additionally, I was motivated to cut back to trim my student loans. These ideas provided a motivation beyond simply wanting to see more money in my bank account. I had no interest in amassing wealth.

Somewhere around then that confidence led to a loss of the previous insecurities. I embraced the weird. In the past, I may have held back with friends and dates. But I turned a new leaf and led with my new life. I’ve made do with less, which is transferable across domains of personal and professional work. There’s a grit that develops from going without.

Yes, I’m sweating profusely as I type these words. Yes, I risk dropping a free weight on my flip flops. Yes, I did bike to our date, and no there aren’t any pegs.

I’ve changed. At times, I’m countercultural, but at the heart is nonconformity. I’m sick of living within the carefully crafted bounds that others expect. Nonconformity has opened doors for me. My creativity has flourished in this time. By accepting a simple path, I’ve written and read more than ever for pure fun and enjoyment. It’s the greatest reward of this new life.

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