“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”
–Lao Tzu
There was a time when I could describe exactly what my life would look like in 5, 10, 15, and 20 years. It felt so grown up and reassuring. I was the man with the plan.
There was a time when I envisioned a beautiful home with a yard. It had windows overlooking an ocean. It’d be mine. I could wake up to it every day.
There was a time when I owned a car and wanted to buy an even nicer one. I held my smartphone, but wanted a newer one. I was obsessed with latest upgrades and features.
There was a time when I looked at my ratty spiral notebook and needed a chic Moleskine. Imagine what it would be like to write in those acid-free pages and flip open that iconic cover.
Largely, those days of desire without logical reason are dying out. I’m no longer urgently pursuing or planning for material possessions. Nowadays, the white picket fence isn’t for me, and I’ve finally realized why.
Life is exceptionally fragile and short. Think about it, our 70, 80, or 90 years represent but a fraction of the Earth’s existence. We are little blips on this planet, and unrecognizably small objects within this solar system, galaxy, and universe.
From the time we exit the womb, we are bombarded with messages that demand our attention. They don’t stop until we do. All five of our senses are put into warp drive, as they begin to process everything around us. Despite our relative insignificance, we cling to material goods and messages — buying whatever we can afford and socking away the rest for rainy days.
These messages beg us to consume, own, and carve out space. They tell us that, with maturity and income, you should own a residence. We are expected — from employers to families to spouses — to buy a car to get to work. But ownership is a figment of our capitalistic imaginations. In this economy, it’s easy to be pulled into a mental trap of expectations and hopes for a possessive future.
Each step countering the current culture of consumption is like running into a 50-mph headwind — you’re not moving fast. Bucking the status quo means isolating yourself from society’s expectations of amassing wealth. But the reality is we don’t own anything — ever. I mean it!
We are simply temporary custodians — holders — of physical objects that we lug around. We fill containers, storage warehouses, and entire homes with stuff. We bear witness to various forms of mass, but all fade — like us. Even the most prized possessions will transfer to someone else or perish. No matter how much home and life insurance we take out, we will eventually pass away.
Truthfully, we rent this life. It’s not solely ours to destroy, abuse, love, and cherish. We share this rental with everyone. Any rental necessitates respect. Destroy another’s property or object, and you’ll be on the hook to replace and/or fix it.
There’s more to life than amassing more than thy neighbor. Forego the mortgages, down payments, and constant maintenance. Choose a life that honors and recognizes everyone. When we rent this life, we recognize that we are just maintaining it for future generations.
Very rightly said. A unique and eye opening perspective on life!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for commenting.
I do agree with much of what you said. My husband and I, both in our mid forties, with knee surgeries and other injuries to these temporary bodies, are well aware we will one day cease to exist. Which is precisely why we have gotten rid of about 50% of our belongings in the past year. What you fail to see is that is also precisely why we own our home and our goal is to own a few rentals. We will be gone, but we want to leave something for our daughters. That is vitally important to us.
I very much enjoy your blog, and I mean no disrespect when I say that in another 15 years or so, with a wife and children, your opinion may naturally do a bit of shifting. 🙂
My thought, too. A few years pass, relationships come and go, bonding occurs, biology and chemistry kick in and … possibly a child or two appear. The goals and ideals of our younger years evolve, as they must, as they have for generations. The personal challenge is to find a way to live your life as authentically and honestly as you can, while being open to change. Change is the ultimate given.
Patricia,
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. From your comment, it seems like you’ve made strides to minimize. I really value what you’re saying about parenthood and wanting to provide for your children (or, adult children). My hope is that this article doesn’t contradict those goals; rather, that we carefully analyze what’s most important to us and try to leave the world a better place than we found it. You might be right, but at this phase of life, my contribution is in owning and consuming less.
Sincerely appreciative of your input,
Sam
Sam may shift his opinion over time, but he may just as likely not. My husband and I are also in our mid forties. We have sold the house, the business and are working on selling all of our possessions that can not fit into a 3x3x3 foot storage locker. We are starting full-time travel this summer.
After 20 years of homeownership, it is doubtful we will ever own again. I was amazed to discover that we spent 60% of the house’s value in maintenance over 20 years. (The house was purchased new). I thought this was excessive, but after some research I learned that 1-4% annually is normal. We lived in the house long enough to have gained the sense that houses are temporary and nature will try to reclaim them as soon as you stop spending money on them.
We also have a grown daughter. We feel that the most important legacy to leave children is not material possessions, but rather the skill of living happily within their means. The greatest gift we can leave her is the greatest gift we have received and that is minimalism + frugality = freedom.
I 100% agree with Nikki above. My husband and I did the same…sold it all, downsized to carry on bags, chose early retirement from teaching, and are now traveling the world. Our college age son completely supports us and wouldn’t have it any other way. We have taught him by example the value of living below one’s means and having experiences over things. We feel certain he will soar as he forges his own path less traveled. In fact, he’s currently completing a year long study abroad in China right now.
Ditto to everything you said! Very well put! My husband and I are the same age as you and doing all the same things with the same goals in mind for our children. Leaving them material possessions is NOT the most important goal and actually goes against what a Minimal life is about. I wish you both all the very best for your future of freedom!!
Having children isn’t the “default” anymore. I’m a 50-ish woman who thoughtfully chose to do more good in the world by NOT positioning everything around my biology, and by focusing more on others. I believe Sam WILL be able to maintain his current mindset as long as he doesn’t fall prey to the old ways of thinking, about himself, life, and women. My life has been richer and happier than that of any of my friends who had kids. And I never have to get consumed by possessions and “stuff”. Sam – I hope you don’t change~!
Parish, small church administrative district or the term for counties in Louisiana.
Perish, to die, be utterly destroyed, ruined.
Alexa,
How embarrassing! Haha. Wonderful catch. Thanks for the note.
Changed. 🙂
Sam
Happens to the best of us!
Whenever I find myself getting overly stressed or depressed about something, I remind myself of this.
Years ago, someone told me that one should keep only “things you know to be useful or believe to be beautiful” among your possessions. This advice came in handy as I went through my parents’ belongings when they moved from their home of 50+ years. The average person amasses quite a bit over the course of life, and you are right to point out that we can’t take it with us; therefore, the stuff becomes someone else’s burden to unload. Travel light through life!
I believe that quote was from architect Frank Loyd Wright.
YES!!! I literally just wrote this in my blog post today:
“In 100 years everyone you know will be dead. Your friends, family, lovers, dogs, kids, co-workers, favorite singers/ actors/politicians, mentors, enemies, and almost every baby alive right now as well. In 100 years the entire planet will be covered with an entirely new set of humans taking over where we left off – WOW!”
Crazy to think about…
Oh man, J! We must’ve been on the same wavelength. How funny! Thanks for sharing that quote from your article. Right on the money… J Money, that is.
Have a good one,
Sam
Yes we rent this life and it’s easy to loose that perspective when we are so bombarded by these messages encouraging consumption and more consumption all the time. I love the direction you and J. $ both went with your blog posts today. Great reminders!
What a great perspective on life. I believe we are managers of any wealth, possessions, talents, etc. we have. This is really motivating to be wise and generous with our money, rather than blowing it all on the latest car or phone model.
Yep. And the older we get, the more we realize how true this is.
As the great philosopher Archie Bunker once said, “You can never buy beer, you just rent it.”
Great perspective on life and why there are more important things to take care than buying luxury items.
Essential thoughts to keep our lives in perspective. If you ask anyone if they would live life differently if they knew the exact year they would die, they will unequivocally say yes. They would focus on trying to improve themselves and help whoever they can. But the fact is, we know that we have a finite existence and we can pretty much predict our end to a decent degree. Just ask your life insurance company. So with that in mind, we should always trying to better ourselves and those around us.
Excellent thoughts, many could benefit from hearing. Life is so very short, and our time to do things which matter to us is minimal. Ditching possessions and rethinking how we exist are important steps we can take, which most chose not to.
Personally at 40 (looking mid 20’s) with no dependents, partner or consumer debt, I left a great job, sold my stuff and booked a one way ticket to Asia, where I work online for my own projects and travel a bit, coming back to the U.S. this summer.
Owning less is very freeing, less to worry about. I used to accumulate some stuff in the small apartments I lived in. Not a lot, but still too much. Now with just a backpack and drum (and some boxes at a friends house) there is a lot more time to live life without the worry of large bills just to store stuff…..
I read and ponder anyone’s point of view, especially when it’s as well thought out as this.
My path is to only acquire stuff that enables us to do things what we like do to. It’s interesting that the stuff listed below enables very intangible results. Memories, relationships, the joy of good music….
Examples might be
1) It takes money to travel, so I need to save for that
2) My wife and I love to ride motorcycles. Same thing, $ needed
3) I love music. ( And appreciate good sounding recording). ditto saving for a good stereo
My wife is engaged in this process that may culminate is acquiring a phd. That takes money, why is she trying for a phd, because it’s there.
I feel like a may be a loose cannon on deck at this website and I agree with the whole materialism backlash.
I am saying that one must find their own place in all of this since we aren’t necessarily talking about right or wrong.
Excellent!!! right on the money, Sam. We are just getting ready to retire, sell our home and move overseas. So, the goal is to get down to the bags allowed to travel with. In this mode we will be able to get up and go to keep travelling.
The point I wanted you to cover/ address is how young families can do this. Especially to be able to raise their kids in this mode, so the chain is set to continue the cycle. This way they never get to the stage where they have to de- clutter. Also how one will have so much extra funds available.
Thanks and keep up the mission.
“We will eventually pass away.”
I try to remember that everytime I’m feeling a little down.
Andrea,
As long as it helps you focus on living in the present! 🙂
Sam
Yeah, it does! No matter what we do, in the end, we’re all gonna die. So it’s better live and enjoy the right now. 🙂
The only tough thing about renting your reidence, is that the owner can ask you to leave if they wish to sell. I hate the act of moving, and especially when unplanned.
What makes it hard for me is I grew up in a society that thinks of investment. House/property are investments you pass on to your kids. You could lead a simple life, take up pursuits that make less money and are not stressful, but how will you provide for your children or take care of your parents when they are old ?
The only way i could stay away from materialism is to put my energy into other pursuits of happiness – travel, nature, building a community. But i am constantly bombarded with people telling me i should be investing my money in a way it grows than on travel, spend my time building my career instead of taking off into the mountains over the weekends, work more to be good at my job. Which at some level i agree with.
Money and career at a security blanket of sorts. In my case, linked to materialism.
Its hard !
So very true. My husband and I like to say “everything is a leasehold” but that’s pretty much the same thing. I’m always reminded of Tibetan Sand Paintings. Such a beautiful thing but then it’s done and time for another so best not to get attached!
How true! There’s a passion and dedication to those sand paintings, and then they are destroyed. Over and over again, this beauty is created and blown away. It’s a powerfully beautiful analogy to life in general. Thanks for mentioning that!
What I love about minimalism is that it is not one size fits all. For some, owning a home is part of their minimalism plan. For others, it’s about constant travel. What matters, is that minimalism can bring peace and joy to a life that can so easily be overrun by things and wants. My husband and I will continue to own our home, and to invest so that we can enjoy our life and be ready should we be injured and cannot work, but owning less, striving for a simpler life brings us so much peace.
This too shall pass…
I just wanted to say thank you for this post and the reminder. Me and my husband recently decided to down-size, get rid of some possessions and are coming up with a plan that will allow us to work less and enjoy/travel more. It is wonderful to see others feeling/doing the same. Life is short….every moment counts.
“Truthfully, we rent this life. It’s not solely ours to destroy, abuse, love, and cherish. We share this rental with everyone. Any rental necessitates respect. Destroy another’s property or object, and you’ll be on the hook to replace and/or fix it.”
Like the article, love the concept, but this statement remains the soft underbelly to the problem. We humans are largely a myopic, egocentric, self-centered species. We damage the rental, without repercussions, leaving the cleanup to the next generation of humans, who are busy figuring out a way to advance their own self interests. We are populating the earth and using up our natural resources and destroying our environment, without regard to long-term costs, because we will likely be long gone when the bill comes due.
And therein lies the rub … Until we humans stop thinking of our existence as a zero-sum game, until we truly believe we are renters and not owners, we will continue down this unsustainable path. I wish I was more optimistic as to the prospects of that development/evolution in our species, but I am not.
Fantastic article! Our family packed up the house and lived in an RV traveling the US last year. Now we’re home again with a new perspective. You’re absolutely right and we’re working on whittling down what we left behind.
Great post. Very VERY true. When you REALLY think about it, it gives some much needed perspective.
Also, I think I need to put your quote up top infront of me at work… I definately accomplish way less when I am stresed and rush. It all gets done in the end…
10 years of life in the case of our son. The last 10 years has changed our perspective on so much, and what is really important in life. And what is truly important is only what we take with us, those things which are eternal in nature. That is where our hearts and minds are. Apart from meeting our basic needs, most else are distractions.
In your way of thinking, how do you prepare for the future to be secure – retirement (because you can’t provide an income forever and you can’t survive without income), aged care and other unexpected life circumstances and emergency. We need to be prepared because those times do and will happen. I’ve always been taught to have back up, (food, funds, emergency items etc) resources, for those times, so you can keep meeting your real needs and your family’s. And also be able to then help others around you. Security is important. Security so that in any circumstance, you still have shelter, food, clothing, warmth, safety. And continuing funds to provide those. And you can take care of your own, and beyond. Preparation.
What I mean when I say, those things we take with us, are those things we take with us when we leave this life. There ARE just a few eternally important things, the MOST important things in this life.
We Americans need this mindset so badly. We’re so far gone with the religion of productivity and consumerism I’m not sure we can recover.
FWIW:I included quotes from this article on our weekly DitchingSuburbia.com roundup.
Thanks so much for including my quotes and letting me know! Glad you like it.