The first-year anniversary of Frugaling.org is right around the corner. It’s been over 11 months since I started this journey and a tremendous amount has changed. Today, I’m taking time to reflect on what started it all.
How much debt do you have?
When I was asked this debt question, it seemed invasive and prosecutorial. The consequences were unfathomable and unknown. I remember feeling awkward, heavy, and embarrassed. I knew the number right off the top of my head, but saying it aloud made the situation more real. The answer to that question was personal and private. I was almost ready to react in defense of my debt!
I briefly thought, “I’m a student, I need this debt! It’s necessary! Look at other people! Hell, it’s an investment in my future career!” Can’t you read and feel the dripping indignation?
The question appeared to be an oxymoron, too. Frankly, I had less than nothing. How could I have less than nothing?! Nearly $40,000 in debt between credit cards, student loans, and a car loan, I didn’t own anything. Instead, banks owned me and all my stuff. With student loans, you either pay them back, enter a special governmental program for forgiveness, or you die. There’s no option to reduce your interest for good grades or make it magically disappear — not even bankruptcy can save you.
Despite the internal pressures to keep quiet or lash out against the person asking this loaded question, I decided to follow down a different path. I responded hesitantly — not knowing the response I’d receive — but also with combination of authenticity, genuineness, honesty, and openness.
Sharing the big, scary number
I plopped out this turd of a number: “I have about $38,000 in debt right now.”
The heft of that number and all the social pressures surrounding it seemed to be lifted. The veil of privacy and secrecy around my debt disappeared. Suddenly, I felt freer. Over the coming months, I began to tell more people about my problem. Some people reacted in shock. Others shrugged their shoulders and admitted they had more than me. Seemingly, my vulnerability and authenticity encouraged others to share their honest reactions and their own debt stories.
I wasn’t alone anymore with this staggering number. I wouldn’t be kept up at night anymore. Being able to share my story enabled me to take responsibility for errors and realize how I could improve. The two combined in perfect harmony into Frugaling.org.
The pressures of society are powerful
I was worried about the stigma of debt. I noticed in popular media and casual conversations that debt was comparable to ill morals. Poorer people are vilified for making mistakes and not working hard enough. I was told that if I share my bank statements and my debt load openly that that was tantamount to indecent exposure. Maybe they’re right, but by facing my problem head on and sharing freely, something beautiful happened.
After I started Frugaling.org, I began to pack more lunches, choose more affordable clothing stores (haven’t purchased anything in 8 months), make a budget I could actually follow, and radically reduce my debt. I made more money and paid my loans off in huge chunks.
Being honest and risking rejection was one of the most difficult things I’ve done. But I’m certain now that this openness is the strongest method and pressure to fixing a bloated, dangerous debt course. Changing the path can seem difficult — you’re going to want people supporting you. By admitting your debt load, you’ll be making your first step towards zero and have a team of people cheering you on.
Have you shared your total debt with other people? What was it like sharing your story? How do you find support in your journey back to zero debt?
Congrats on approaching 1 year of blogging AND getting on top of your student loan debt!
When I told my then boyfriend (now husband) about my student loan debt, I was a little nervous. But I knew that it was the right thing to do and I’ve been very responsible about paying it off. Now, my husband’s student loans are done and we’ll be debt free once we’re paid off my loans 🙂
It’s especially important, I think to come clean about all your debt with your partner -so that you two can sit down and carve out a plan for repayment!
Anneli,
Thanks for the kind words. It’s been quite a journey, and I still have plenty of work to do!
Congratulations on reducing your debt and beginning to share your story. I really appreciate you connecting with the need to share your story and be honest with your partner about it.
All the best!
It is quite freeing, but I couldn’t have done it unless I had seriously been able to get a handle on it and start showing progress. Actually, I never even thought about blogging about it until recently. When I saw what others said about their situations, I said, OK then, I’ve just got to put it out there. It’s a big part of the my story.
My debt is way way worse, but will take 6 years to be done with it from start to finish. That’s a long time and longer than most, from what I’ve seen blogged in the PF world. Thank fully I do have some assets, which gives some comfort. Working my way up to a Net Worth post. 😉
Congrats on your 1 year blogaversary!
Congrats on one year! Your progress is outstanding! I share my number freely and am not ashamed. It’s part of who I am, but not what I am. I get the looks of pity, disdain, and “oversharing” when I say the number. But I easily put myself back in charge when I say how much I’ve paid off. Then people start to listen!
Getting rid of the taboo of debt disclosure is so important. Like any dirty secret, it becomes distorted and gains power the longer it’s hidden. It’s very liberating, as you say, to let the secret out. I felt as awkward as you did about sharing my numbers at first – and they’re much higher than yours. Congratulations on your debt reduction and on your courage for helping to overcome the taboo.
Congrats on the anniversary and the end of your student loan repayments. April is looking good for you!
Thanks Stefanie! Really great feeling to be paying off that one chunk of student loans. Still have $8500 of subsidized loans leftover. My plan is to save and earn – invest – and then pay it all off as soon as I graduate and the interest is active.
I find your post very inspiring. I always thought that I had to be very secretive about the debt I owe, thinking that people need not know for they won’t help me pay off anyway. But I see your point and I am thankful that I got to read this.
Most people can’t even share their debt with themselves, let alone with others! Attacking debt beyond the minimum payments, the more the better, is the best thing you can do for yourself. Awesome job getting rid of that unsubsidized debt so quickly. That’s thousands of dollars saved right there.
Thanks for the encouragement, Syed! 🙂
The best part of knowing you’ll be in the green in April is knowing that you can then begin investing in chunks as large as the ones you were using to pay off your debt! Nothing like snowballing in investing! Congrats on your debt reduction.