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How To Stay Frugal When Dating

By Frugaling 5 Comments

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How to stay frugal when dating. Dating requires a deep self-examination of what you value and hold true. Being frugal when dating tests this self-worth amidst conservative outer spending.

Years ago I bought a car that was beyond my budget, purchased clothing from upscale retailers with student loans, and ate out for almost every meal. This disaster scenario was largely motivated by what I felt were social pressures. As a single man in college, I was compelled to outwardly display my worth. It cost me thousands of dollars.

Whether a male archetype as a provider or just wanting to flaunt objective measures of wealth while dating, our culture is fraught with beliefs that being a worthy suitor is linked to the things we own, display, and hold. This errant thinking can lead to great insecurities that motivate Veblen-style, conspicuous consumption. A $5,000 watch exclaims your wealth, but not your inner worth.

Dating requires a deep self-examination of what you value and hold true. Being frugal when dating tests this self-worth amidst conservative outer spending. Does the flashy car or fashion make you worthy of like, lust, and/or love? Maybe, but I’m here to say there’s a different, better, and more meaningful way.

1. Realize Your Inner Worth

How much are you worth? If you were to look at my Mint.com account, you’d see a red number that starts with: –. I refuse to believe this net worth represents inner worth. Losing your sense of inner worth can lead to excessive spending and problematic approaches to dating. Worth-iness when dating is more than monetary. If someone cannot see past this, they likely aren’t for you.

There’s even an advantage to thrifty, frugal, and penny-pinching behavior: You save for the future.

2. Own Your Frugality

Contrary to dating lore, opposites do not attract and tend to make for poor relationships. People tend to be attracted to similar traits. Friendships and relationships represent what we value. We seek people that identify with our goals and motivation. I aspire to have friends that love to talk openly and deeply. I aspire to have relationships that are loving and kind.

Frugaling with friendships and relationships is no different. Look for these similarities. If this is important to you, don’t be afraid to share and find out. Own it.

3. Fun and Frugal Dates

There’s a fear that the frugal life equals less fun. This unfortunate myth is tied to individuals, rather than the lifestyle. You can be exciting, new, and adventurous – regardless of your budget (I spent 5 days in Costa Rica for less than $300). Being fun and frugal means getting creative and inventive at little to no cost.

Looking for a romantic and frugal dinner? Try cooking at home, setting up some candles, and popping up an affordable bottle of wine.

Here are five articles for more frugal date ideas:

  • 18 Frugal and Romantic Dates at Home
  • 15 Frugal Date Ideas
  • Eight Great Frugal Date Ideas
  • 9 Hot Tips for Cheap Summer Dates
  • 8 Awesomely Frugal Date Ideas for the Weekend

Important: You may assume that attraction includes flashy displays of wealth, but you may be surprised by the person you’re dating. After weeks of feeling like my girlfriend wanted to eat out and have fancy outings, I finally asked what she prefered. To my pleasant surprise, all she wanted was some quality time. Eating in sounded perfect. 

Filed Under: Make Money Tagged With: date, dating

One Month of Blogging: A Reflection

By Frugaling 11 Comments

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One Month of Blogging: A Reflection. I started this site on May 4th, 2013, as the dusk days of the spring semester wrapped up. Trapped in my head over the current debt and the grandest questions about finances, I established this to be an avenue for education and self-reflection.

Today marks the one month anniversary of frugaling.org. I started this site on May 4th, 2013, as the dusk days of the spring semester wrapped up. Trapped in my head over the current debt and the grandest questions about finances, I established this to be an avenue for education and self-reflection.

I was the sole visitor on May 4th. Over the course of this first month there were over 8000+ visitors like you. People checked out the site from a variety of countries: Canada, UK, Germany, and Australia (to name a few). Nearly 12,000 pageviews were recognized, which suggests that some visitors looked at other pages.

Alexa.com, which is a public, “web information company” that tracks the popularity of websites, ranks frugaling.org in the top 5 million of websites worldwide and top 500,000 in the United States.

From being the sole visitor to 8,000, it’s been clear that what most people tend to appreciate are long, informative posts that provide a unique spin on a contentious or common issue. For the next couple months, I aim to diversify the audience, deepen the quality of articles, and propose some new perspectives to tackling the debt (car, credit, or student loans) while becoming a frugal person.

I’m deeply humbled by the amount of people that have visited the site, left comments, and wrote to me in this first month.

Thank you,

-Sam

Filed Under: Make Money

My Credit Cards

By Frugaling 2 Comments

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My Credit Cards. Opening up that paper mailer was an honor because the bank entrusted me with a credit line (~$1,000, if memory serves me)

Nearly five years ago, I applied for my first credit card. It was the Citi Dividend Platinum card (still available here). Much like my academic career, I poured over websites and researched credit card companies to find the best rewards. I had no established credit history, but I believed in building it – here was my first step.

The Start


Opening up that paper mailer was an honor because the bank entrusted me with a credit line (~$1,000, if memory serves me)

. The platinum card sparkled against the light, and I felt like one of the few and proud. Most college freshman that I knew didn’t have cards or lines this large. I was rewarded with powerful bonuses and cash back that made me value the card. Why would I use cash or a debit card, when I could make 2 to 3 percent back on my purchases with this credit card? I saw the card-less as suckers, and missing out on extra money.

The long con is more insidious. For the first couple years it was a hard and fast rule: Treat the credit card as cash and only spend what was in my checking account. I was the epitome of reserve and control. Occasionally, I talked to friends about getting a credit card – the necessity of it. How could you not take advantage?

More Rewards

Before I knew it, I was looking for a better rewards card. The Hilton credit card by American Express (Amex) advertised a sweet bonus – a free night. Once I received the award and looked for places, it was my first taste of discomfort. The points didn’t really amount to much and the places were hardly aspirational. Amex was an aspirational brand, though. Maybe they had something better?

Within a couple months, I applied for a Premier Rewards Gold Card. With no annual fee for a year and benefits that occupied pages and pages of documentation, this card seemed even better than the rest. Putting this in my – previously bulky – wallet was like carrying salvation. I was safe from bad purchases and broken down cars. Amex would be there for me.

Better Rewards

As the annual fee rolled around, I canceled the Gold card and applied for another. I wasn’t ready to plop down ~$125 per year. But, I was searching for a card to fit the bills. I applied for the Blue Cash card, which offered incredible cash back for grocery store shoppers and gas. The card came with no annual fee, too. With friends like these, I was hooked on Amex.

I became an evangelist for all things charge and credit card. Look at all these benefits! All the while, an eerily stereotypical spending pattern emerged. My income just wasn’t enough for the amount of spend. More importantly, I was buying things I didn’t need (i.e., a Specialized $1,000 road bike, surround sound system, and upgrading my cell phone every 6 months). It’s one of the most embarrassing purchase patterns of my life. The debt and spending was fueled by a lot of factors, but my emotional well-being seemed like the common denominator. It felt tied to my emotional health – like never before. Feel crappy? Spend.

Seeking Control

After I became healthier, my spending leveled out. Around this time, I started monitoring CreditKarma and Mint religiously to check my credit scores and transactions. Even though I was spending less, I was still comparing and applying for credit cards. The Chase Sapphire card seemed like the best of breed. I applied and received it. Finally, a no annual-fee card with the benefits of an Amex charge card. This became my favorite card. I felt like canceling everything else, but I couldn’t. By doing so, my credit score would plummet. The amount of credit accounts and duration are two important variables. It was a Catch-22 and the cards won.

Over the latest semester, I traveled constantly, and it made me consider a travel rewards card. After pouring hours into research, I chose the American Airlines credit card by Citi with a 50,000 point bonus. The bonus was applied to my frequent flier account and will be used for some adventure down the road.

The Present and Future

A 2012 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found shoppers who charge an item to their credit card focus on the benefits of the purchase, while those who pay cash focus on the cost. (Source)

Nowadays, I have just under $30,000 in credit limits. There’s no doubt that this is established to encourage uninhibited purchases. This isn’t free money, and there’s nothing special about this number. As I work to abolish my debt, I am looking to lower this limit and close some accounts (even if it hurts my credit score). Four credit cards feels like too many. That might be influenced by my minimalistic tendencies, but I think that reducing the number will encourage greater frugality.

I didn’t write this to exclaim the wrongdoings or ill-conceived nature of credit cards. Every now and then I might highlight a credit card or new bank offering on the site, as I do believe there are opportunities. You can certainly be rewarded for owning a credit card and managing your spending. If there’s one lesson to be learned: The amount of money in your bank account is a distraction to the fundamental, dangerous patterns of some credit card use. Watch out for the patterns and be careful. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if it gets out of control.

Filed Under: Best Credit Cards

5 Frugal Apps for International Travel

By Frugaling 3 Comments

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5 FRUGAL APPS FOR INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL he following 5 frugal apps will help you save when traveling.

Summer travel is well under way. In fact, I just came back from a brief trip to Costa Rica. Nary a map or concrete plan between my girlfriend and I, we embarked on a five day adventure through the ecologically-beautiful landscape. As we wrapped up the journey, we learned that it helps to come prepared – digitally.

In my past, failing at frugality, I purchased an iPhone 5 shortly after its release. Now, traveling abroad, it was a tremendous resource for staying frugal and on course. The irony.

For my girlfriend and I, neither of us had any cell service. Landing at the airport terminal and turning on our phones to “No Service” was a freeing feeling.Finally, we were disconnected – how rare! But that doesn’t mean we didn’t use our phones.

Smartphones are tremendous resources and can be savers while traveling – even without service. The following 5 frugal apps will help you save when traveling. Important tip: Download them to your phone and become accustom to them before travel. Some require offline packages for proper use (must be downloaded to phones).

1. Wi-Fi Finder (Free)

This is the holy grail of Wi-Fi! Despite having no cell service and little money, you should be able to find free hotspots across the globe. The Jiwire app includes an offline directory of Wi-Fi locations that are free and paid. No matter where you go, you should be able to find something (within reason). Make sure to download the ~40MB offline database for access on the go. Then, you can be in the middle of Jaco, Costa Rica and still find a free spot.

2. Google Maps (Free)

Google has been the map leader for quite some time. It should be no surprise that their app (on both Android and iPhone) is the best choice you have. On Android, you can actually save maps for offline use right to your phone. iPhone users don’t have it as good, but can still search for directions within Wi-Fi locations and use them offline. As with many apps, there’s a word of caution: Small towns and some international travel zones may not have clearly marked roads. If you don’t have an active GPS or map, you may miss turns. Always be ready to break out a real, paper map (have you heard of these?).

3. Free Spanish English Dictionary (Free Version/$9.99)

This will be language-dependent, but choose one of the free translation dictionaries if you’re not a fluent speaker. These can provide you some basic phrases and words for conversational use. One word of warning: The free versions can be a bit limited. Despite their limitations, they function offline, which is key to traveling well.

4. XE Currency (Free)

Everyone needs a currency converter when traveling abroad. They keep you in the know, and prevent you from making a purchase that is highly unfavorable. Down in Costa Rica, I get about 500 colones for every US dollar. Knowing this helped us save money and make sure prices were fair. As with all of these, there are offline capabilities; albeit, currency fluctuations will obviously not be reflected.

5. Kayak (Free/$0.99)

This company leads price aggregation for hotels, airfare, and much more. I constantly use the app to track and book flights. As a frugal traveler, it’s hard to know what places are the most affordable and highly rated. Fortunately, Kayak does all the work. Each time we needed a hotel, we found a Wi-Fi signal, searched the hotels nearest us, and went walking up to the reception desk. Seeing the prices on Kayak kept the employees fair, as well.

What apps do you use to save while traveling internationally?

Filed Under: Save Money

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