I’m an extrovert. When I’m around crowds of people, I feed off the energy and feel excited to be alive. In a college town, with little else to do than drink yourself silly or try a new restaurant, I frequently opt for a moderate balance of both. Unfortunately, this is a black eye to my carefully crafted budget.
Participating in these social romps are one of the highlights of my weeks. Meeting new people and getting to know someone on a deeper level – there’s nothing better! But let’s face it, they do take a toll on my ability to pay off more debt. Sometimes I wish I could have the best of both worlds: social time and the frugal life. Thankfully, there are some simple mind tricks that help keep me within my budget and enjoying the company of others.
Pretend it’s a necessity
Most visitors to Frugaling are likely a part of two camps (look at me already dividing people): those who need to reduce their expenses and make more, and those who want to reduce their expenditures. If you don’t need to trim all the excess from your budget, you’re usually less inclined to do so.
The motivation for creating and following a budget is highly determined by your financial situation. The more stability you have, the more likely you’re going to be comfortable spending money on a night out with friends. Nonetheless, my guess is that if you visited this article, you at least want to reduce your expenses.
Maybe you have a little emergency fund, a great big checking account, and/or a sizable investment portfolio. Being frugal may be a life choice more than anything else. For me, I need to get my budget balanced, but I have this generous wiggle room that the federal government taunts me with: student loans.
When I’m out on the town and could pay even more for food, I think about my aim: I don’t want more loans. That places me somewhere between choosing frugality and needing it. For me, the trick is pretending like it’s a necessity to stay in budget.
For instance, let’s say I had $300 this month for food. That budget included everything from restaurants, fast-food, and even supermarkets. If I hit $300, I’m out of money for this month. More importantly, if I pretend and remember that that limit is a stopping point before catastrophe, I’m going to be very careful about where I put my money next. By pretending it’s a necessity, I realize how great the consequences of my actions can be.
Predict, plan around your social desires
Despite tricking my mind into realizing the necessity of a solid budget, there’s a humble need to share and socialize. Somehow, I want that to be filled. If most everyone is venturing off into the little downtown nightlife, I’d like to be able to go with them. Unfortunately, this is rarely friendly to my budget.
A night out on the town that includes dinner and drinks at a couple bars may cost about $40-50 after tips. Done once a week, and that eats away $200 a month from my budget. That’s not an option!
The trick here is simple: Know both your social and financial needs before the invite comes and night sweeps you away. If you’re gearing up for a fun, late, Friday night, there are a couple things you can do that will really add up:
- Eat at home, before you go out. Maybe get an appetizer when you’re at a restaurant with friends.
- Like those kooky college students always do: pre-game at home. By the time you’re out on the town, you’ll be ready to drink water instead of another expensive booze concoction.
Stories beat stuff
The great country of New Zealand has a wonderful advertising campaign to attract tourists. Ads feature young people skydiving, eating exotic foods, and experiencing the diverse geography of the Hobbits’ native land. All of the marketing centers around one tagline: “Stories beat stuff.”
All they’re saying is that you should get over materialistic wants and show the world what you’re made of! Rather than collecting another display piece for your home, a luxury car, or buying expensive jewelry, try running around, taking a random road trip, or flying to another country! Let these experiences fuel and motivate careful decisions regarding your budget.
It’s important to gain those experiences because ultimately they can help perpetuate and fuel a well-balanced budget. Debt destruction is easier when you’re psychologically well and whole. I guess what I’m trying to say is that every now and then, that night out on the town is a short-term loss for long-term gains.
A couple years ago I was a runner-up in New Zealand’s story beat stuff competition. Almost got to explore NZ for free but alas I didn’t win but I did end up selling all my stuff, leaving Silicon Valley and backpacking around the world an entire year. It solidified the idea that stories are things you’ll have for the rest of your life. Not saying that driving a luxury car wouldn’t be a nice adjective to the story but can be unnecessary.
No way! What a cool opportunity. I’ll have to look into this, because it seems amazing! 🙂
Agreed, we could all use a luxury car, but those stories truly last a lifetime.
Thanks for your comment!
That’s actually a pretty interesting argument for paying off your loans, even if they have a low interest rate. Once that money goes out the door, you create a situation where you NEED to be frugal, until all your loans are paid off. As soon as you feel comfortable and start to relax on your frugality, pay off a big chunk of student loan and get yourself back on track. Interesting!
Also – Boston is a great city for house/apartment parties. Get people to come to you and maybe even inspire them to host themselves sometimes!
Funny that you mentioned Boston! Hopefully you recognized it in the picture. 😉
Old Family Story: My mom used to tell the tale of how when my brother was a baby (he was the first) someone she knew thought he was the most adorable baby on earth and offered her a brand new cadillac for him. Whenever he did anything exasperating, which was often, she’d say she should have taken the offer. Seriously and symbolically though, the car would have been long gone, but my brother has kept on ticking for decades now and always a source of interesting dinner topics to this day. Back on point though, it really is difficult to make good financial decisions when faced with immediate gratification. I keep hoping someone will come up with a magic cure for this. I keep making the same choices, knowing that the results will be the same, but staying in denial just long enough to do it again and again and again and again …
I so agree with you when you say that it’s more effective when you pretend it’s a necessity. YES! I find that every time I get slightly stressed out about my financial situation (ie when I got engaged, and was thinking about all of the wedding costs… and when we bought the house and I had to see our nice savings account drop so quickly) I kick it into money saving, frugality mode. It works every time.
Great article! Definitely a fan of these tricks. I’ve always lived the “Stories beat Stuff” mindset, as I don’t really accumulate a lot of ‘stuff’.
Big believer in planning ahead around my social desires, a little planning goes a long way! I’ve been known to say “no” to dinner and to just meet up for drinks later. I frequently brown bag my lunch and apologize later when co-workers want to go out. I typically just see if they’ll bring it back to the office to eat with me. I also try to plan at least one or two “low key weekends” each month, that way I can enjoy bigger, more expensive weekends later on!
It’s amazing how frugality grows exponentially when you start it with being a need but it eventually grows into a want(ing) to be frugal.