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Archives for January 2015

Being “The Best” Made Me Miserable

By Frugaling 13 Comments

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Pale Blue Dot Planet Earth Photo From Moon

Growing up, I wanted to be “the best.” Whether it be a pilot, firefighter, or investment banker, I needed to be the best. I was compelled to be better than the rest – always wanting and seeking hierarchical successes.

I competed over grades in school. Another’s “A” threatened my goals. Before I got into graduate school, I ruthlessly pestered professors with questions and looked for ways to improve my final scores. But I couldn’t compete in the hard sciences (i.e., chemistry, physics, and biology).

I purchased designer clothes like Diesel that were more expensive than others could afford. A sweater that cost over $125 was seen as a necessary cost to stand out. But secretly, I couldn’t afford them either — there were tens of thousands in student loans.

I played poker with my friends, and wanted to make more money than they ever could. First place was a sweet spot, and I reveled in knocking them out of the tournaments. But I lost money more often than I’d like, and felt ethically miserable when winning their money.

I wrote articles that were published in various journals and newspapers. My words created conversation and controversy — exactly as intended. But I saw writers my age publishing in Rolling Stone and massive online news sites. There were others publishing books, when I could merely squeak out 700-word columns.

I pictured running marathons with packs of people behind me. I imagined passing more and more people. But when I ran them, thousands finished before me.

My younger years were filled with the pressure to conform and my budget hurt because of it. Each time “the best” motivated me, I spent more money, competed in unhealthy ways, and looked for ways to put people down.

When I look back at my childhood, I realize how susceptible to American exceptionalism I was. My country was “the best” — better than the rest. And I needed to be a player in that world. I wanted to be a patriot and represent my country, as another best.

Eventually, I got burned out fighting to be the best; then, something powerful happened. In relinquishing this drive, I discovered that there’s always someone better than me (or you). There are nearly 7 billion people on this beautiful globe. Talent, expertise, and “the best” is everywhere you look.

As I let go of this need to be the best, I embraced another emotion. It was something like peace combined with acceptance. But not about being lesser than. It sounded like, “I’m okay as is, and I’m happy doing my personal best.”

There was a secondary consequence of letting go of my compulsion to be the best. My spending plummeted.

I stopped spending as much on food and travel. I sold my car, and got rid of hundreds of dollars in monthly costs associated with ownership (from gasoline to insurance to maintenance to car loan payments). My clothing costs fell, and are nearly $0 every month.

Ironically, I felt healthier and saved more money than ever. The buzz of inadequacy that had promulgated my inner voice quieted. I started to feel comfortable and humbled — happy to be me.

Consumption and affordability are warped and twisted by our drive to be the best. Imagine what your life would be like if you stopped competing with others reputations and talents. It influences everything about our lives.

What if we throw away this cultural norm and embrace who we are today? Would the brand new blazer or dress be as important? Would we finally be happy?

Filed Under: Minimalism, Save Money Tagged With: Budget, earth, grades, marathons, Minimalism, money, spending, the best

Frugal Articles of the Week

By Frugaling 2 Comments

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Reading Nook Photo

Today I wanted to feature a few frugal articles that caught my eye this week. Curl up in your favorite reading nook and enjoy. Hopefully these encourage you to live frugal lives!

7 Tips to Help Keep Your Resolution to Declutter by Joshua Becker
The new year is upon us! Lots of people create resolutions and goals, but few are followed. Joshua created a bulletproof list of 7 tips that’ll help you stay focused on decluttering and living with less.

Quit Whining About Your Sick Colleague by Daniel Engber
America has a productivity problem, and not because we aren’t working enough hours. The problem centers on overwork and overemphasis on the amount of hours put in at a desk. Engber skillfully takes the readers on a collision course with hand sanitizers and media hyperbole around the common cold, and then guides them to a treatise about work-life balance. Well worth a read!

How I Cut $10k in Spending in 2014 by Practical Cents
This month I’m going on a food diet. But in a different twist, I’m not watching calories — only my spending. In this article, Practical Cents breaks down how they cut $10k in costs over the past year. With an incredible table of savings and examples, P.C. makes it easier for readers to see how they too can save!

The Urge to Splurge by Sam (Yours Truly) Lustgarten
I won’t ruin the story, but I wrote about a recent date that was published on my favorite minimalism website, Becoming Minimalist. It centers on the external messages that we hear — both from individuals and advertisements. These messages can make us consume more than we would’ve otherwise. And can defeat our efforts at minimalism!

Breaking Broke by Stefanie O’Connell
Stefanie had a breakout 2014 and she’s looking to leave broke behind! In this stirring article, she talks about overcoming the stereotype of a broke, aspiring actor. She’s ready to take personal finance head-on and show readers how to make some incredible side income.

Filed Under: Save Money Tagged With: Article, Becoming Minimalist, Broke, Declutter, Frugal, minimal, Minimalism, Reading, saving money

Looking Back At 2014

By Frugaling 5 Comments

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Fireworks photo by Scott Cresswell
Photo: Scott Cresswell/Flickr

This holiday I had the fortunate opportunity to celebrate Christmas with my family and New Year’s Eve with lots of old friends. I couldn’t have asked for a better few days. And now, with 2015 upon us, I wanted to take a quick look at the triumphs and highlights of 2014.

More visitors and pageviews

It was an incredible year for website traffic and visitors. There were over 330,000 visitors and nearly 500,000 pageviews. Incredibly, one of my articles went viral. I never really knew what that meant until I saw over 1,000 visitors on my site at one time. Frugaling became so busy that I couldn’t edit, visit, or change the site!

When I first started the website I questioned whether anyone would read it. And if anybody did, I wondered whether it would just be my mom and dad. In my first year, I constantly thought about my audience and building a following. In 2014, I shifted this priority to publishing regularly and meeting a certain journalistic standard.

It’s not that building a following isn’t important, but I realized I was concentrating in the wrong areas. The old adage of “Content is king” is true. By publishing thought-provoking articles and seeking debate, the traffic grew naturally.

More revenue, momentarily

At the beginning of the year I was making staggering amounts of money. Frankly, I wasn’t sure how to talk about it. In both January and February, I made over $5000 per month. With that kind of money, I was able to pay off my student loan debt in record time.

From the very beginning of Frugaling, I knew that I would try to make a little side income from the site. I never expected to make enough to pay off the loans. But it all came at an ethically dubious cost: hawking affiliate banking products. I never felt completely satisfied or confident in sharing about these products, as many suffer tremendously from easy credit opportunities. Credit debt can be nightmarish, and lead to the illusion of “success.”

Over time, the revenue began to fall. Affiliate companies reduced commissions until they were a small fraction of what they once were. Eventually, they pulled individual cards and requested that I constantly update marketing points. I felt tied to another job — one of updating and tidying up credit companies’ messages. The aftertaste was unsettling. Out of this discontent, I decided to pull the remaining articles about credit card companies. Maybe at some point later, I’ll revisit it, but with my debt paid off, I don’t feel desperate enough to be hawking these products.

Top articles from this year

I was repeatedly humbled by the amount and quality of visitors this year. People increasingly participated in the comments section and shared via social networking. It was a pleasure to be able to write with this audience in mind. The following are the top 5 most popular articles from Frugaling all year:

  1. Destroy The 40-Hour Workweek
  2. 5 Tricks To Save Money At Starbucks
  3. Too Poor To Protest: How Income Inequality Silences Your Voice
  4. Debt Is The Illusion Of Success
  5. 8 TED Talks That Will Inspire You To Become A Minimalist

Most popular referrers of traffic

When people start blogging and writing, they often ask me where traffic comes from. It’s both a simple and difficult question to answer, as visitors and readers come from all parts of the globe — finding your site in different ways. Sometimes word of mouth and personal recommendations lead to the most pageviews. Sometimes sites like Reddit and Facebook are best for viral sensations. The following are the top 5 referrers of traffic to Frugaling in 2014:

  1. Reddit
  2. Facebook
  3. Twitter
  4. Becoming Minimalist
  5. Hey It’s Free!

A special thanks to you, my reader!

2014 was a standout year for me. Graduate school has been challenging, but I’ve been able to keep writing articles and participating in the personal finance world. It’s been an honor to share my voice with you, and receive your support.

Thank you for making this an incredible year, and I hope you’ll follow along in 2015!

-Sam

Filed Under: Make Money Tagged With: 2014, annual review, articles of the year, Income, money, pageviews, Personal Finance, revenue, social networking, traffic, Visitors, Website

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