Frugaling

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Be Here For The Process, Not The Outcome

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Photo: Michael Reilly/Flickr

“This very moment is the perfect teacher, and it’s always with us.”
— Pema Chodron

Anything to feel better

In college, I was a first responder to an event that changed my life. It scarred me. In response, I sought treatment at the counseling center.

When I first walked into the door, I was desperate to “recover.” I didn’t want to feel pain. I didn’t want to feel sadness. I didn’t want to visualize tragedy anymore.

Frankly, I wanted to take a pill and make it all go away. I couldn’t help but feel far from being healthy again. Counseling seemed like a questionable endeavor, where the outcome was unclear. Still, I went.

Hammering home a message

My counselor continued to impart a message on me. Week by week, month by month, he worked to change my narrative. When I would jump to the outcome — the end goal — he would point it out. When I pointed out what I was desperate for in the future, he would bring me back to the present.

Slowly, after countless sessions, something happened.

I could suddenly digest my months.

Then, my weeks.

Then, my days.

Then, my hours.

Then, something clicked.

Becoming present for this moment

I became present for a moment — one solitary second of presence and oneness with the world. And there with my counselor, I realized what he was saying all along: be here for the process, not the outcome.

As much as I wanted all my problems to recede, fighting towards goals that might take years to realize was too challenging. But through daily intention, I could see a path in front of me — even if the end was not in sight.

Slowly (and I mean slowly), my anxiety, flashbacks, and significant mental concerns began to fade. They were background noise to my present-focused moments.

Money on my mind

After two years of graduate school and overspending, I launched myself into the world student loans, car loans, and credit card debt. There was nary a day that passed without a swipe of the card — a probing of my wallets nether regions to scrounge for my last pennies.

It was easy to amass nearly $40,000 debt. Unfortunately, seeing my way out of that hole was remarkably vague, unclear, and disconcerting.

I reverted back. I focused on what I wanted in the end — the outcome. I was pulled back at where I wanted to be, rather than what I could do today. I wanted to be out of debt again; to see my bank account with green coloring, rather than red.

Refocusing on now

Then, I thought about my counseling experience. I had struggled with sadness and recovery, finding it too difficult to digest the process. But it was the process that provided a path for success, health, and today… wealth.

Facing the debt was the first part of my financial recovery. I needed to sit with it, be uncomfortable by it, recognize my discomfort, and then take a bite — with intention.

Now, I’m taking my financial success one day at a time — just like my mental health. And frankly, I’ve never been wealthier or healthier.

Stay True To Your Budget And Self

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Choose your path to budgetary success

Last month I wrote about my “low-income lifestyle” that’s a consequence of my tight graduate student income. I only make about $14-15k per year after taxes and education expenses. Then, I have to account for rent, food, entertainment, and transportation costs.

There’s not a lot of wiggle room. As a student, employee, and writer, I can’t commit any more time to work endeavors. At the end of nearly every week I’m beat up from an 80-hour workweek. I know and admire those who can work this many hours, and still do more. But I never saw that life for myself.

Staying true to a budget and future goals can be challenging. Here are 5 methods I use to stick to my budget.

1. Tell friends and family

“Power allows us a superficial sense of control, whereas true, vulnerable being allows us a sense of authenticity.” —TinyBuddha.com

It can be embarrassing and challenging to let people in on your financial distress, concerns, and budgetary constraints. That embarrassment personally led me to avoid saying “no” or high-spend scenarios (i.e., going to ball games, bars, and expensive restaurants). Rather than admit to myself and others that I had a budgetary problem, I hid behind debt.

One of the most powerful changes you can make today is to tell anyone in your life about debt and/or financial goals. Some friends will be able to provide support, choose more affordable activities, and check-in with you. That connection is fundamentally important, because bucking societal trends to spend more and more can be challenging. Having people on your side is essential.

2. Find accountability buddies

“Men [and women] exist for the sake of one another.” —Marcus Aurelius

While friends can be emotionally supportive to financial goals and concerns, they might not be equipped to be an accountability “buddy.” These partners do more than checking in — they push you to save more.

Find a person, network, or community — online or in person — that can help you stick to your budget. Choose someone you trust, as financial distress is often personally intertwined with psychological wellness.

Spending a lot of money? Likely, there are some external stressors in your life. An accountability buddy needs to be a supportive/challenging listener.

3. Regularly check your budget

”The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” —Henry David Thoreau

Seeing massive bills and debt is frightening. It’s difficult to see a way out of these holes.

One maladaptive pattern I engaged in was avoidance. If I didn’t look at my budget, recent transactions, or credit bill, I wasn’t as stressed out (short term). But then again, I wasn’t trying to reduce the spending, either.

Denial can be the answer, but it’s dangerous; often, delaying budgetary fixes. The nervousness and anxiety must be faced.

I’d recommend making a habit of checking your transactions and bills once per day. There are various methods, but I’d recommend an online option. For instance, with Personal Capital, you can sync nearly every type of bank account, investment account, credit card, and loan. This helps you get a broad-based perspective of your net worth and budget efforts. And it’s all free!

4. Write and/or start a diary

“A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.” —Dalai Lama

Words are powerful — forget people who say “words can never hurt me.” Words make people feel deeply — cry, laugh, and everything in between. Words can help you catalogue, share, and reflect on your budget efforts.

I started Frugaling to do just that: reflect on my efforts, write about personal finance issues, and help others along the way. Others have seen my triumphs and failures — ups and downs. Along the way, I’ve been able to look back through my archives to see how my thinking changed.

Private diaries are another great option! As long as you’re brutally honest with yourself, you’ll be helping to save and stick to whatever budget you set for yourself.

5. Remain present focused, mindful

“Eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.” —Wittgenstein

This step can be the most challenging of all. Most people want to drift into past or future-oriented thinking.

We tend to perseverate on past failures, mistakes, and embarrassments. Alternatively, we tend to think about future potential, hopes, and dreams of a better life than we have right now. Both forms of thinking suck us away from the present moment.

We cannot change the past, and what we do in the present determines much of the future. It’s in the present moment where we can enact change, stick to our budget, and prevent another purchase.

Sticking to a budget takes patience and perseverance: one day at a time. We can beat ourselves up for our mistakes, which make us tragically want to consume more. Or, we can take hold of the moments we have left to live a different life. There’s so much potential in the latter option.

Frugal Articles of the Week

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Every week I like to feature a few frugal articles that caught my eyes. Curl up in your favorite reading nook and enjoy. Hopefully these encourage you to live frugal lives!

The Stuff Paradox: Dealing with the clutter in the US by Jane O’Brien
Amidst massive income and wealth inequality, a growing movement of minimalists is rising. Their work bridges and breaks the traditional bounds of income levels. Now, anyone who’s willing to declutter and rid themselves of the unnecessary can join! This article catalogs a couple Americans who are working to do just that.

The Girl Who Saw Through the Illusions by Leo Babauta
Leo is one of the most popular bloggers on minimalism and simple living. His focus spans from meditation to family life. In this new style, Leo writes from a seemingly fictional stance to talk about how illusions influence how we see the world.

What Motivates You To Save? by Kate Dore
Frugality is usually something that just happens. People tend to choose a more frugal lifestyle because of small incomes, to cut down on carbon emissions, and/or to have a less cluttered home. But to start saving, people need to ask an important motivational, intention question. Kate perfectly conveys it!

In Pursuit of More Lasting Success by Joshua Becker
This article hit me. Joshua points out two extremes in today’s economy: 1) the focus on financial success, 2) the importance of working less. Both extremes can be detrimental. Joshua proposes an alternative, where working to help others becomes a major focus. Brilliant idea!

Why We Don’t Meal Plan by Mrs. Frugalwoods
Over the last couple weeks, I published how I’m reducing expenses and trying to get my food budget down to $200 per month. I’m having a bear of a time! Mrs. Frugalwoods makes it look easy, and they don’t even meal plan to save. What could be easier?! Her biggest recommendation seems to center on the role of buying bulk and unpackaged foods for a frugal budget.

In Search Of Robin Hood

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Photo: Robin Hood/Flickr

Only 80 people

Today, we stand at a dangerous precipice. About 80 people have the same amount of wealth as the bottom 3.5 billion people combined — $1.9 trillion.

That’s a staggering gap in equity.

Unlike the myth of “job creators” and “hard work,” these 80 people can never match the productivity and ingenuity of 3.5 billion. Unfortunately, the system of global income and wealth inequality doesn’t allow for more social distribution.

We need a Robin Hood

There’s a legendary hero who attempted to change these economic circumstances: Robin Hood. Whether man or myth, he was a rebel. The character is famous for taking from the rich to give to the poor.

He forcefully redistributed wealth through illegal, anarchic action in a folklore landscape that was divided and unequal. Simply put, he noticed injustices and took individual action to change the system of wealth inequality.

Levying a global wealth tax? Nearly impossible.

In Thomas Piketty’s 700-page tome, Capital in the Twenty-First Century, he acknowledges deep economic patterns of global wealth inequality. In no uncertain terms, Piketty suggests we are approaching another Gilded Age.

His major proposal is a global net worth tax to reassert some amount of economic equality (among other suggestions). In a way, this could be a heroic Robin Hood-like effort to help the planet’s people — not just a select few.

A global net worth tax might not be possible. Too many countries, wealthy people, and corrupt states would prevent it from happening. But there’s something else that’s growing in popular support: the Robin Hood tax.

The Robin Hood Tax could work

This cleverly named tax is supported by around over 350 economists and 50 charities including Greenpeace, Christian Aid, Comic Relief, Oxfam, One, Save the Children, The Salvation Army, and Unicef. Ultimately, this tax would be levied on banking and financial transactions that are traditionally made by the wealthiest 1%: those in the financial industry.

Potentially, taxes on financial instruments and industry in general could raise billions of dollars in revenue. The “Financial Transaction Tax (FFT)” at the heart of the Robin Hood tax could raise about 380 billion dollars per year.

These taxes would be sorely received by the wealthiest classes, but it would create a base and middle class for the majority. This could change lives.

Now, we just need to find a politician that’ll put on some green tights.

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