Frugaling

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Conquer Your Urge To Spend?

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Quicksand Picture
Photo: hoodooyoudo

Deep within the recesses of your mind are primal, animalistic urges to spend more than you should. We are born and bred to consume and prosper – shopping comes easy. As the Black Friday madness shows, we can easily gorge on the materialistic desires that haunt us. When we set budgets and realize our fallibility, the urge to spend can easily be replaced by grit to overcome. It is at this point that we are effectively fighting our demons and the unbalanced budget.

Fighting is tiring

But have you ever been in a fight? Whether emotional or physical, fighting is tiring and draining and scary. It strikes a similar but different evolutionary instinct, and can lead to severe psychological distress. Frequently, future frugalers get frustrated by their urges to spend, and punish themselves by cutting credit cards and focusing on creating a rock-solid monthly budget. I’m afraid this energy is misdirected, at times.

Oft-repeated cliches about making more than you spend and creating an emergency fund are abstract concepts, goals that miss the steps needed to get there. More fundamentally, even the steps ignore the reasons behind your desire for change – to become more frugal. What is motivating you to save money and have a better life?

From foundations comes successes

See, what the personal finance world is missing is credit for the psychological foundations. Everyone comes with a certain amount baggage and history. This past influences how we treat money and save (or not). Without recognizing this past, we may not be able to recognize where we err in the future.

In the past, I had a piss poor habit of going to malls to browse and shop because I loved the smiles and energy. The aromatic storefronts welcomed me, clothes glistened from spotlights, and the service was friendly. The problem was most pronounced when I felt alone and/or unfulfilled. Bottom line, for me, shopping and spending beyond my means was directly related to loneliness and purposelessness.

Realizing your own need shopping and/or unbalanced spending leads to a foundation for change and budgetary hope. A house cannot be built without a foundation. But more fitting, a house cannot be afforded without a budgetary foundation. How do you become aware of your motivation for wanton spending?

quicksand cat can haz cheeseburgerThe metaphor of quicksand

Remember those old movies where the bad guy falls into a pool of quicksand, and the more he struggles, the faster it sucks him under? In quicksand, struggling is the worst thing you can possibly do. The way to survive is to lie back, spread out your arms, and float on the surface. It’s tricky, because every instinct tells you to struggle; but if you do so, you’ll drown. –Russell Harris

Debt and financial despair is like quicksand. The more you fight to get out of it, the harder it seems. It is easy, when you’re working to improve your situation, to berate and punish yourself for these ills. Fortunately, there’s another way – a paradox of sorts to becoming frugal and financially solvent.

As the quote says, if you build a foundation for a different reaction to your struggles, you may find calm. In calmness, we can begin righting our course and find a balanced budget. Deficits can be defeating, but they don’t necessitate a battle.

Fighting, flexing, attacking, and breaking your need for spend is a recipe for disaster. Rather, relax and reason are the solution for a positive future. Now, you’re ready to save money with mindfulness!

Save Money With Mindfulness

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Photo: flickr/Stefan Rüdiger

I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. I’m tired.

Just breathe.

My mind is whirling with self-doubt and questions that I need answers to immediately. My day hasn’t gone as planned, and I’m not going to be able to get everything done. There’s a running dialogue – stream of consciousness – and it feels like it cannot stop.

Just breathe.

My heart’s racing on another caffeine trip. I didn’t get enough sleep last night and my mind’s wandering. Unfortunately, I didn’t pack a lunch, either (written prior to Buy Nothing Challenge!). Rather than the norm – guilt – I feel beat from the frugal life.

Frugaling is working. I’m maximizing my budget and minimizing debt. But sometimes, I question the foundation of saving. A monstrosity of nearly $40,000 in loan debt is boring into me. Sometimes progress is like watching grass grow. Ironically, it’s the little decisions that add up.

There’s a convenience store across from work. More than anything, I want to grab a pack of Twizzlers or maybe a donut. It’s what I crave; weird, I know. Sugar and empty calories. There’s seemingly nothing better when you’re training for a marathon. In these moments of reflection, it takes serious willpower, prevention, and mindfulness to trump the convenience.

Writing these lines makes my mouth water in anticipation. Can I please have it? I’ve been working hard all day. I almost feel like I deserve that food. What’s the harm? It’s only $1.99!

Over the last year or so I’ve tried to insert a more meditative, mindful approach to my daily routine. Mindfulness is about really being present and in the moment with the world around you. It comes in handy when I’m hungry, cranky, and tired. I’m better able to feel the emotions, while also realizing they’re just that. Instead of simply stating, “I’m hungry,” I think, “I’m having thoughts of hunger.” Emotions are an endless stock ticker through the head. Changing the shape of your thoughts can powerfully distance yourself from your cravings.

Mindfulness meditation can be immensely powerful at circumventing the normal bustle; yet, in training, it’s frustrating and challenging. As I try to calm my mind, it frequently seems to run rampant and uncontrolled. I breathe again.

Recently, the New York Times featured the power of meditation in developing deeper empathy:

The next time you meditate, know that you’re not just benefiting yourself, you’re also benefiting your neighbors, community members and as-yet-unknown strangers by increasing the odds that you’ll feel their pain when the time comes, and act to lessen it as well.

Meditation and mindfulness don’t just benefit others, though. By becoming more self-aware and awake, it’s easier to save money. Suddenly rash purchases and conceptualized needs don’t seem as important. You can be present for more purchases and better establish the desires versus wants to save money.

As I left work, I peacefully walked by the convenience store; without those red, tempting Twizzlers and $2 richer.

Just breathe.

Time, Frugality, and Learning To Say No

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To become frugal with your time - maximizing the important and reducing the clutter - it's important to learn to say, "No."

I’m failing do to everything I want, and I feel like I’m stuttering under the pressure of graduate school. Honestly, I’m struggling.

The day begins with a habitual breakfast meal: eggs and turkey bacon. My coffee brews as the stove top sizzles. The breakfast meal is important for my long days, and I cook a hearty one. But everything takes time, and these days, I’m running out of this precious resource.

As a graduate student, my semesters are demanding. My weeks have a consistent 45 or more hours scheduled between school, work 1, and work 2 – not to mention volunteering, research opportunities, and many necessary extracurriculars. Time management is key, but there’s a fundamental flaw – everything cannot be completed.

But maybe there are tools from the frugal life? For me, living frugally is the voice to cut back on the unnecessary and enjoy the meaningful. Reducing discretionary spending and focusing on what’s most important has great ramifications for time, as well. This article is a combination of reflection and advice for dealing with the conundrum of time management snafus and demands.

Sleep And Mr. Rigor Mortis

Honestly, there are limited hours each day. Even though there are 168 hours in a week, there’s only so much the human body can handle. Many of those hours will be redirected to sleep. This is a basic necessity. This is not an area to sacrifice or “cut back” on.

Reducing sleep is not frugal, it’s dangerous. Sleep is helpful in maintaining normal anxiety and depression. Sleep can energize and leave you feeling refreshed. Sleep helps memory processing, and leads to better encoding.

As the difficult days of graduate school continue, it can be challenging to get enough sleep. Sometimes it feels like I’m shaving years off my life in the process. The reality is that busyness cannot replace your need for sleep. If you’re chronically not sleeping well or enough, something’s got to give.

Time Management Equals Money

We already know the overused maxim that time equals money. It does, but it’s not an accurate measure. Time management and effective use is the key to money. Even though many people work 8-hour days, they often work in short, efficient bursts.

By maximizing those bursts, I can use my time more wisely and condense serious amounts of work into short periods. From there, I either take a short break or switch topics to challenge my brain and keep me thinking critically.

Find Your Focus, Forget The Rest

To become frugal with your time – maximizing the important and reducing the clutter – it’s important to learn to say, “No.” This simple word is often the first out of a toddler’s mouth. It’s time to incorporate it back into your regular repertoire.

No, I can’t commit to another extracurricular.

No, I can’t signup for that project.

No, I won’t be able to meet that deadline.

It’s empowering to say, “no.”

Suddenly, my schedule is busy and full, but I can manage it when I start to say that simple word. You should try it sometime.

The 7-Day Buy Nothing Challenge: Day 0

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Part reflection and part education, I will write a journal-style entry to you every day. THE 7-DAY BUY NOTHING CHALLENGE: DAY 0

Read the Entire Series: Day 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Tonight marks an interesting turn in my dream to reduce my debts and save more. This just may be another ordinary, summer Saturday night to you, but to me, it’s the beginning of a little adventure. For the next 7 days I won’t purchase anything. I’m calling it, “The 7-Day Buy Nothing Challenge.”

The experiment came to me as I was driving – yet again – to the supermarket. It was the second trip of the day. I had planned poorly and hadn’t followed my own shopping advice. Unfortunately, I got home and realized I forget bread. A few hours later I was back at the store and primed to spend.

Then, I pondered if I could actually make it a week without spending money on anything. It couldn’t be simpler, right? Just stop buying stuff! And yet, look at your receipts, how many days have you gone without a purchase?

We are primed for consumption, and sometimes we don’t know how to turn it off. It’s often easier said then done, and I struggle with it sometimes.

For the next 7 days, I aim stop shopping and see my Mint.com account show zero, nada, nothing, zilch, squat, zip. Part reflection and part education, I will write a journal-style entry to you every day.

The Buy Nothing Challenge rules are simple:

  1. No household goods (discretionary or non-discretionary), food, or gas purchased.
  2. Nothing necessary, desired, or wanted purchased/ordered.
  3. To aid in this process, leave credit, debit, and cash at home. 
  4. If an emergency occurs, ignore the first three rules.

When I started telling people about this experiment, some scoffed, others laughed, and a few were excited. To me, it’s a win-win. I get to write to you and I learn what it’s like in the process. I wonder if I’ll be able to go a week. Likewise, I’m nervous if I properly prepared for the adventure. I’d love to know what you think in the comments below!

Here goes nothing! Wish me luck. Be sure to follow along!

Read the Entire Series: Day 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

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