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Be Here For The Process, Not The Outcome

Path and trees — *Photo: Michael Reilly/Flickr*

“This very moment is the perfect teacher, and it’s always with us.”
— Pema Chodron

Anything to feel better

In college, I was a first responder to an event that changed my life. It scarred me. In response, I sought treatment at the counseling center.

When I first walked into the door, I was desperate to “recover.” I didn’t want to feel pain. I didn’t want to feel sadness. I didn’t want to visualize tragedy anymore.

Frankly, I wanted to take a pill and make it all go away. I couldn’t help but feel far from being healthy again. Counseling seemed like a questionable endeavor, where the outcome was unclear. Still, I went.

Hammering home a message

My counselor continued to impart a message on me. Week by week, month by month, he worked to change my narrative. When I would jump to the outcome — the end goal — he would point it out. When I pointed out what I was desperate for in the future, he would bring me back to the present.

Slowly, after countless sessions, something happened.

I could suddenly digest my months.

Then, my weeks.

Then, my days.

Then, my hours.

Then, something clicked.

Becoming present for this moment

I became present for a moment — one solitary second of presence and oneness with the world. And there with my counselor, I realized what he was saying all along: be here for the process, not the outcome.

As much as I wanted all my problems to recede, fighting towards goals that might take years to realize was too challenging. But through daily intention, I could see a path in front of me — even if the end was not in sight.

Slowly (and I mean slowly), my anxiety, flashbacks, and significant mental concerns began to fade. They were background noise to my present-focused moments.

Money on my mind

After two years of graduate school and overspending, I launched myself into the world student loans, car loans, and credit card debt. There was nary a day that passed without a swipe of the card — a probing of my wallets nether regions to scrounge for my last pennies.

It was easy to amass nearly $40,000 debt. Unfortunately, seeing my way out of that hole was remarkably vague, unclear, and disconcerting.

I reverted back. I focused on what I wanted in the end — the outcome. I was pulled back at where I wanted to be, rather than what I could do today. I wanted to be out of debt again; to see my bank account with green coloring, rather than red.

Refocusing on now

Then, I thought about my counseling experience. I had struggled with sadness and recovery, finding it too difficult to digest the process. But it was the process that provided a path for success, health, and today… wealth.

Facing the debt was the first part of my financial recovery. I needed to sit with it, be uncomfortable by it, recognize my discomfort, and then take a bite — with intention.

Now, I’m taking my financial success one day at a time — just like my mental health. And frankly, I’ve never been wealthier or healthier.

My Low-Income Lifestyle

By Frugaling 57 Comments

Let’s start with my monthly salary

“I’d like to live as a poor man with lots of money.” —Pablo Picasso

I get paid $1545 after taxes on the 1st of every month. That’s my salary for working at the university, and being a graduate teaching assistant. Over 12 months that comes out to about $18,540.

For a single person, that places me about $7,000 above the federal poverty line of $11,490. You’d think I live a pretty comfortable, financially solvent life. And for the most part, I do.

I’m not in poverty. I never go hungry for long. I’m afforded incredible learning and writing opportunities. I can pay for shelter without any concerns. I’m lucky not to have any dependents or pets. I’m not on the brink of losing this consistency of life.

A tight monthly budget, but positive

Here’s what my monthly budget looks like:

Paycheck: $1,545 per month

Rent: -$550 (Housing in Iowa City is surprisingly expensive. This price bundles Internet/Cable, as well).
Utilities: -$50 (Varies month-to-month, but on average…).
Student fees/tuition: -$346 ($1251 per semester (x2), and then summer tuition (not covered) at $1650 for 3 credits — all divided by 12).
Food: -$400 (working to lower this, but in the past…)
Gas: -$5 (I don’t drive, but occasionally I give friends money to carpool with them)
Total costs: $1,351 per month

Partial budget: $194 per month

Notice that within this budget, entertainment, travel, and car expenses are not present. It’s difficult to approximate how much I spend on entertainment (going out to movies, playing pool, or bowling), but I’d say it averages about $10-20 per month.

Because I sold my car, I no longer have registration, titling, gas, insurance, maintenance, or car loan payments. Although, flights still happen and those cost about $300-400 round-trip. I fly about once or twice a year nowadays. Conservatively, that’s about $600 per year, or $50 per month. Subtracting these costs, and the following is my total budget:

Total budget: $124 per month.

If I stay within this budget and repeat it monthly, I can save about $1,488 per year. But that’s only if there are no other fees, expenses, or emergencies. For instance, my computer is hugely important to my business, job, and schooling; if that were to fail, I’d be in deep trouble. A single incident could wipe away my savings for a year.

Macro Money Photo — *Photo: Kevin Dooley/flickr*

Settling into the low-income lifestyle

While I might not be in poverty, I lead a low-income lifestyle with little room for error. Now that I’m no longer in massive student loan debt, my monthly budgets are real and accurate — not manipulated artificially by financial aid. When I run out of money, it’s gone — there’s no reserve ready. If something happens, emergency funding may be found using title loans or other secured lending options.

As I paid off my student loans and stopped withdrawing additional credit, I developed and settled into a low-income lifestyle. It’s one without exotic vacations, weekend getaways, cars, fancy dinners out, and the latest gadgets.

Now, I hold onto things longer, avoid purchases, and cook at home whenever possible. But it took me a while to adjust down — to slow down, really. I’ve said this before, but debt fostered an illusion of success that I felt compelled to uphold and continue. I wanted to show people that I could “afford” to treat, spend, and enjoy. Unfortunately, it was all a mirage. I was swimming in debt and stress.

Reflecting on the pros and cons

Pros

1. No more debt (or very little)

I no longer take out student loans to cushion my budget. Every month I do have revolving credit from regular purchases, but my balance is paid in full each statement period.

2. Support from family and friends, community

People check in with me more than ever about how I’m doing with my financial goals. Additionally, friends have increasingly begun to ask questions about how they, too, can save.

3. Greater exercise

Now that I sold my car, I take buses, walk, and/or ride my bike. Altogether, I’m getting way more exercise over owning and driving a car.

4. Empathy for lower-income and impoverished populations

Living closer to poverty and working with the homeless population has been an interesting combination. While I have great educational privilege, I do not have any income to show for these “achievements.” For now, this lack of money has helped me try to empathize with those less fortunate than I.

5. Reduced environmental impact

Despite America’s capitalistic ideals, we are doing the planet great harm with our consumption. Without any money or vehicle, I’ve drastically reduced my environmental contribution to greenhouse gases.

6. Eat healthier

To stay within my food budgets — and reduce them even further — I’ve been making more food at home and avoiding fast food alternatives.

7. Provides motivation for stories, articles

Living this low-income lifestyle provides great fodder for stories and reflection. Simply put, I learn every day from it. Comfort can sometimes make us complacent and inure us from others’ struggles. Stripping away income has provided deep insight into income problems in America.

8. Increased appreciation for what I do have

For everything I must sacrifice with my tight budget, there’s far more that I have, which I’m deeply grateful for. From health of friends, family, and myself to comfortable shelter, I am privileged.

Cons

1. Restricted travel

I used to travel all over the country. I loved seeing new places, eating different foods, and meeting new people. Instead, I’m mostly here in Iowa City. Traveling is too expensive — other than to see family a couple times per year.

2. Less time with family

I’ve added hours at work to receive more income. Between that additional time and aforementioned restricted travel, I don’t get to see my family as much as I’d like.

3. Awkward date conversations

While I’ve grown to embrace my low-income lifestyle, I can’t afford to go out with people too frequently. When I go out on dates, I’ve noticed that gender norms about who treats still seem to hold strong — the man is expected to step up.

4. Susceptible to emergencies/unexpected costs

If my computer stopped functioning or I had an injury, I may lose the budget surplus. This precarious balance threatens all my financial goals.

5. Psychological toll and nervousness

Being at this level of income takes a psychological toll. I’m working a large number of hours each week for relatively little pay. That’s stressful.

6. Society doesn’t seem to understand

Graduate students made great progress over the last few decades to have their educations paid for through assistantships and fellowships. But skyrocketing tuition has held back graduate funding. State and federal funding has consistently been in jeopardy.

7. Guilt when overspending

When I do spend money outside of the budgeted amounts, I feel tremendous worry and guilt. This emotional reaction sometimes stems the tide of purchases, but also makes me wish for days of financial security.

8. Tiring, test of willpower

Last, but certainly not least, it can be tiring. Following this strict of a budget takes an immense amount of willpower. Unfortunately, willpower is deeply tied to energy levels. With less energy, willpower tends to decline, as well.

American College Students: In Debt, Distracted, And Doomed

By Frugaling 9 Comments

Being a teacher and instructor in college is more challenging than ever. Nervous eyes take glances at iPhones, quickly minimize Facebook apps, and craft rapid text messages. Students are unbridled in their distraction. They look uncomfortable sitting still.

As a college instructor for about 4 years, I’ve become increasingly aware of fellow educators expressing frustration over “lazy” students that multitask. Some educators ban smartphones and iPads during classes. Others call out students that text in class, and ridicule them in front of peers — aiming towards social conformity.

Unfortunately, technology is serving as a scapegoat for something worse. Teachers want to limit these technological forms of distraction to heighten learning for everyone, but this classroom management strategy misses a fundamental problem. Today’s students aredistracted, but their attention problem results from atmospheric student loan debt and poverty.

The American Dream and business of higher education

Built in to our ailing economy and concrete erections is a fundamental dream: hope for a better life. It’s why many emigrate here.

While achieving that success is attained through various methods, college still serves as the number one predictor of middle class life. High school graduates make a median salary of $651. By attaining a bachelor’s degree or higher, individuals make a median salary of $1,108.

For decades, the message has universally been towards greater higher educational attainment. Generations of students, employees, employers have followed this rule — requiring college educations and encouraging people to get at least a bachelor’s degree. Now, about 32% of Americans have college degrees.

Guidance counselors ask high school and college-aged students to envision anything they want to accomplish. Fundamentally, they ask, “What do you desire?” and “What would you like to do if money were no object?”

But money is an object, and we are controlled by its properties — through empowerment or restriction. These questions of freedom tease students with a reality that doesn’t exist.

Student loans restrict, constrict, and destroy choice

Many will graduate with nauseating student loan debt. Heck, there’s $1.2 trillion right now! For class of 2013 college graduates, the average student loan debt was nearly $30,000. With that amount of debt and interest rates that vary from 3.86% to 7.21%, today’s graduates don’t have the freedom that’s espoused and propagated by higher education and mainstream media.

The problem gets compounded as “student tuition now outweighs state funding at public colleges.” Now, state taxes and revenue sources are contributing to even less of the total cost for students. This all flies in the face of socialistic policies in many European countries that have highly progressive, free (tax-supported) higher education.

Americans place the burden on students as young as 17 to make educated decisions that could affect the rest of their lives. Faltering in payments and failing to swiftly pay off the debt can lead to forbearance, default, skyrocketing interest rates on credit cards, and more. Credit scores and future livelihood are at risk.

Educating the desperate, sleep-deprived, and in debt

The interest is already ticking for many before graduation. Students can feel eager to get a job, get paid, and pay off debt. But even before they graduate, they must ask themselves some serious questions:

Should I work during college?
Should I take more than a normal credit load each semester to finish faster?
Should I skip study abroad opportunities that cost more and may extend my time?

Previous generations had the incredible luxury of minuscule tuition rates. Between 1978 and 2013, college tuition and fees grew by an overwhelming 1,225%. Simply put, college cannot be paid for with summer jobs and temporary work.

To the financially disenfranchised, student loans fill the gap for access. But there are still students that work during college. I had two jobs while also a full-time student, and there are many like me.

Then, there are students with disabilities, children, and veterans of foreign wars (to name a few). They are challenged to keep paying utilities, attain an education, and somehow keep a roof over their children’s heads. Again, student loans often serve as a mediator to accessing education — a temporary source of funding to attain a better income and vocational future. But real dreams can subtly disappear from view as financial aid bills take precedent.

Student loans magically appear, as do depressed dreams

Like many of my readers, I’ve worked hard to turn around my financial future. When I was in debt, I felt horrible. I spent money without concern and bought things I couldn’t afford. My debt was the illusion of success.

When I finally stopped to breathe in May 2013, I realized I had dug a hole nearly $40,000 deep. I was embarrassed with what I had done, and who I’d become. I wondered what I could do to reverse this dangerous course. Trust me when I say this is a common problem for many students.

Financial aid usually was deposited into negative balances at universities and then extra amounts were distributed to the individual student’s bank account. Suddenly, bank accounts were flush with thousands of dollars — budgets seemed irrelevant.

Everyone from the in debt to the creditors to general public confuses these loan instruments for real cash. Yes, you can spend student loans however you see fit, but the consequences are punishing. Every dollar is taxed by the current loan interest rate, and is a dollar in the wrong direction: towards poverty.

The problem of poverty in college-age students

Unlike the clarion calls that suggest America is number one, we seem to have created a master plan for educational failure. Research suggests that “poverty, itself, hurts our ability to make decisions about school, finances, and life, imposing a mental burden similar to losing 13 IQ points.”

By saddling our future graduates with nearly $30,000 in average student loan debt and a future of near poverty for many, we are hurting their ability to learn in the process. Lower-income and impoverished populations constantly report lower amounts of sleep, vocational uncertainty, higher stress, and show evidence of hindered decision-making capabilities.

These are the students of today. They are trying to succeed in a cultural landscape that begged them to get educated, punished them for getting that college degree with years of debt payments, and then limited their employment options.

As the dreams fade due to financial concerns, anxiety and distractedness likely increase. The dream of “What’s your purpose?” can quickly be replaced with “Who will hire me?”

We want bright, capable graduates, but we “victim blame” them instead

America is eager to have the best workforce in the world. We are a nation that aims to be a beacon of hope and role model to developing states. And yet, we are breeding and cultivating some of the most in debt, distracted, and impoverished students.

It’s not in the interest of this country, the world, and future progeny to continue this wicked cycle of educational attainment and poverty. It’s not in the interest of creating a bright, educated populace to have them cowering in poverty for doing so. It’s not in the interest of America to impair decision making in finances and education in the process.

As teachers express frustration for their distracted students, they need to fundamentally understand the complex, systemic interplay of student loan debt. This financial instrument is inherently complex and can psychologically impair the most capable students. They might not be able to pay attention because they’re burdened by a future of poverty, student loan debt, and restricted opportunities.

Something needs to change. This system isn’t sustainable. Fortunately, a small light of hope might be on the horizon.

Post by The White House.

President Barack Obama recently announced a massive initiative to empower those from diverse financial backgrounds to receive a “free” education. His plan includes funding community college educations for those working part-time and maintaining certain educational requirements. Over the coming months this will be hotly contested and debated. But this is the first step, in what needs to be many, for those in need of an education that’s truly accessible and affordable.

Students cannot continue to shoulder most of the burden. There are powerful inequalities in income and wealth — educational opportunities shouldn’t be one of them. If we can muster the courage and wherewithal to increase taxes towards education, we may see what America is truly made of.

5 Financial Lessons I Learned In College

By Frugaling 5 Comments

This past weekend I traveled to my alma mater, Colorado State University. My old stomping grounds changed, as new buildings and flashy designs populated the sprawling campus. But despite the changing landscape, it felt familiar.

There are countless memories — exceptional and horrific — that span my 5 years of life in Fort Collins, Colorado. One of the most poignant and relevant were the many financial mistakes made during my tenure. It was here that I started a crazy financial roller coaster that led me to nearly $40,000 in student loans and debt. It was here that I first noticed a panicky daydream where I would be sucked into the ground and have no way out of this horrific financial hell.

After reflecting on my visit and time in Fort Collins, I realized that I’ve changed — like the campus landscape. I’ve learned a lot about myself and some financial lessons along the way. Today, I wanted to focus on 5 key aspects that college helped me understand about personal finance. What I would’ve given back then to know this information now!

1. Friends influence frugality
Unsurprisingly, the people you surround yourself with greatly influence how you spend your money. If you’re trying to be a more frugal person, it’ll be vital to find friends that support and approve your way of life. It can be radically different from the party, work-hard-play-hard mentality at some campuses. Additionally, if you attend a private college/university, you may be around people with larger bank accounts. It’s important to reflect on who you are and what your inner compass is telling you about finances.

2. College is expensive, put extra funds in a savings account
While I was fortunate to have parents that paid for college, I didn’t budget well — if at all. My parents gave me a little spending money and I did exactly that, spent it! It wasn’t “saving money.” I burned through the money. From expensive dinners to luxury road bikes, I was a faux-millionaire with an unquenchable need to spend. Much of this could’ve been solved or stifled with a good budget. And it’s never too early to make a budget! College is the ideal time to figure out these important “adult” issues, as you should have money coming in and out. If you ever have extra funds — whether you’re the campus pot dealer or have generous parents — stock your funds away for rainy days.

3. Question your student loan “award” unmercilessly
Student loans are often called “awards” after you apply for and fill out the FAFSA. Unfortunately, these are not anything of the sort. Student loans are powerful debt instruments that are issued by the federal government, with changing terms and interest obligations. These are complex, dangerous, and can spiral out of control rapidly. With any decision to take out student loans you need to be unmercilessly skeptical and defensive.

4. Avoid car-friendly/needed campuses
I sold my car over the summer. It’s been a difficult adjustment, as the current university — Iowa — isn’t particularly bike-friendly. Wherever you intend to go to school, consider public transportation and (wide) bike lanes. You should be able to receive free transportation on buses with a student ID. Look out for bike racks, too! Ideally, you’d be able to sell or avoid buying a car altogether.

5. Find “easy” jobs and double-up on work
College campuses have tons of jobs for students. If you’re an exceptionally busy, motivated student — and I hope you are with what college costs — it’s important to find a job that allows you to double-up on work. For instance, you could get a job as a server that pays very well, but that could make it difficult to take full semester course loads. Thus, you sacrifice one part of your life for another. An alternate option — especially if under a time crunch to graduate — is to find a desk job at a residence hall or an office assistant position. Oftentimes, these jobs have downtime and allow you to sneak in some study time. Now, you can be efficient and make some money in the process. What could be better?!